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Bloke Suffering From Severe Jetlag After 2 Days On The Session

An English bloke is suffering from a severe case of jetlag after spending two entire days on the session.

Jason Gorman, an HGV operator, started his “session journey” straight after work on Friday and didn’t “arrive at his destination” until sometime on Sunday evening.

“I couldn’t keep my eyes open at all mate,” confirmed Jason during a chat with Wunderground. “I got home at about six o’clock on Sunday evening. I’d been planning to have some food, smoke a few joints, watch some stupid movies and maybe wank myself to sleep but every time I tried to do anything I’d just nod off. My body clock was all over the place.”

“Even after a full night’s sleep, there was no way I would have been able to handle any heavy machinery so I had to call in sick on Monday morning,”. “You can’t ring in and say ‘I won’t be in today because I’m broken from the session’ but if you say ‘I’m severely jetlagged’ it’s much more acceptable and when you think about it, it’s pretty much the same thing anyway.”

“Have you ever seen that movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles? Where Steve Martin and John Candy go on an epic journey across America,” he asked, “Well, that was kind of like my weekend, except mine was more pills, tranqs and alcoholic beverages and it was more across Finsbury Park than across America but equally as tiring.”

“Even now, three days later, I’m still finding myself getting extremely groggy anytime I need to concentrate,” revealed Jason. “I’m starting to get worried because I’ve got a really big journey planned for this weekend and I’ll need to be extremely well rested before I start it.”

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