Disclosure Gig Disrupted As Man Loses Testicles In Skinny Jeans Accident Graham September 27, 2013 Clubbing 10 Comments Share the post "Disclosure Gig Disrupted As Man Loses Testicles In Skinny Jeans Accident" FacebookTwitterGoogle+PinterestStumbleUpon The Liquidroom nightclub in Tokyo was the scene of a gruesome accident during a Disclosure show last weekend. Local man, Shinji Kojimoto(19), was rushed to hospital with crushed testicles following what doctors have described as a “skinny jeans malfunction.” Suki Kazuya, a friend of the victim spoke of the incident, “Shinji is such a huge Disclosure fan, he had been talking about the show for months.” “When the day of the gig came about he was so excited. We were getting ready in his house when he realised his mum had put his favourite pair of skinny jeans in the wash. He was devastated so I suggested he put the jeans in the tumble dryer. If I hadn’t have said that he’d probably be OK, it’s all my stupid helpful fault,” he sobbed. “The jeans shrank so much that he was hardly able to put them on,” he continued while wiping tears from his face. “We just about managed to get his button closed. He said they felt alright but I could tell by the constant rearranging of his crotch that something wasn’t right but we were so excited we just left and forgot all about the jeans.” Disclosure band member, Howard Laurence, also spoke of the accident, “We’d been on stage about fifteen minutes, there was this guy right up the front dancing and jumping around like a lunatic, a real enthusiastic bloke.” “Then halfway through White Noise he just collapsed on the ground screaming and holding his balls. It was really annoying because the crowd stopped watching us. We had to turn the music off until the ambulance came and took him away,” disclosed the disgruntled musician. Dr. Kesuma Magotomo, of the Fujita Health University Hospital explained Mr. Kojimoto’s injuries, “Last night we received a patient with severely damaged testicles. The man had been attending a music concert while wearing an extremely tight pair of jeans. It’s the worst skinny jeans malfunction I’ve ever seen and we get a lot of them around here.” “It appears that he became so excited during the performance that he had an erection. This, coupled with some extremely vigorous dancing, caused the testicles to be squashed beyond repair. We battled to save them but they were literally pulverized and a decisions was made to remove them,” he said regrettably. Mr. Kojimoto, is in good spirits after undergoing testis prosthesis surgery and hearing the news that he is to meet his heroes, after the band announced they will visit him in hospital, “I always said I would give my left nut to meet Disclosure, I may have had to give them both but it will definitely be worth it,” he enthused. Share this:FacebookTwitterRedditGoogleTumblr 10 Responses Kazi Rayhan September 27, 2013 sounds like a bad comedy show Log in to ReplyReport user Essence Nunn September 28, 2013 BULLSHI*! Log in to ReplyReport user Leem Murphy September 28, 2013 Log in to ReplyReport user ADRIAN BIG MAN September 30, 2013 Cancer is more funny than this post. Log in to Reply Graham October 1, 2013 Cancer is probably more better at English than you!! Log in to Reply ADRIAN BIG MAN October 2, 2013 Nope. “Better” is a comparative adjective, “funny” isn’t. “More funny” is perfectly acceptable, however “more funnier” or “more better” aren’t. The general rule for comparative adjectives in English always is used for adjectives of three or more syllables. However, two-syllable adjectives can take either comparative form, but there are some set preferences for certain words based on how they sound when put into the comparative. And nouns used as adjectives don’t always follow this. Fail. Graham October 3, 2013 Actually using more is correct when comparing adjectives, ie. You are more wrong than you are right. Seen as neither this post or cancer are adjectives, and the fact that the word funnier exists, you should have said, cancer is funnier than this post. Why don’t you try to find a retort you can copy and paste to that? Do you always sign your name as Fail? I would too if my name was Adrian Big Man. alex southern November 5, 2013 cool come back Mikey October 2, 2013 What are ya hanging around here for then? If you think Cancer is a better option, feel free to head on over and wallow in it. Log in to Reply Angie cc September 30, 2013 Fair enough Disclosure have only been on stage for 15 minutes but they need to realise if any kind of accidents happen at their gig, it’s not all about them! Log in to ReplyReport user You must log in to post a comment.