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Local DJ Convinced He Invented Dance Music

A local DJ has convinced himself, and his tiny fan base, that he singlehandedly revolutionised the music industry by inventing dance music.

Geoffrey O’Dwyer, who DJs under the name GOD, plays a monthly residency in Haus Mate, Bradford’s sixth biggest club night and claims to be a “gift to dance music from heaven”.

Wunderground managed to speak to Mr O’Dwyer earlier, “We’ll have to be quick guys I’ve got a meeting with some really big promoters at three o’clock,” he told us. “I can give you a few minutes though yeah, it’s always good to look after the little guys you get me? Actually, you won’t because we’re not really on the same level are we, now come on, let’s get on with it, people to go place to see and all that, yeah.”

“Sometimes I wonder what people used to do for fun in this town before I came along,” he continued. “The truth is they didn’t do anything, they were all just miserable sods, working down mines and drinking themselves to death. They’re lucky I came along and liberated them all through dance.”

Despite not producing any of his own music, O’Dwyer claims to be one of the industry’s true pioneers and believes he is at the core of a worldwide musical revolution.

“Have you ever heard of putting a donk on it?” he asked us. “Well I put a different kind of a donk it and it’s changed everything. I’ve got people coming up to me in the street and saying ‘aren’t you him that put a slightly different donk on it?’, it happens all the time, it gets quite annoying when it’s blokes but when it’s girls it usually ends with me having smelly fingers, you get me?”

According to a local promoter, Mr O’Dwyer is a total bull shit artist and actually has little or nothing to add to the local scene.

“He’s a total fucking sham mate, he swans around like he’s fucking Pete Tong but he’s just a little muppet,” ranted the promoter. “The only reason he gets any gigs is because he brings a small group of trolls who like his shitty music with him and he’s willing to be paid in drinks. What a wanker.”

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