Clubbing

Man Desperate To Watch Entire Josh Wink Set “Doesn’t Regret” Pissing Pants On Dancefloor

A man who was so desperate to watch an entire Josh Wink set that he pissed his pants in the middle of the dance floor has firmly defended his actions, claiming he “doesn’t regret a thing”.

Thirty nine year old Bob Atkin, from Devon, England, is believed to have been waiting his whole life to watch his “hero” Josh Wink, perform an all night long set; revealing he would have felt as though he had “betrayed” Wink’s good name, had he popped to the toilet for a few minutes.

“His set was seven hours of bliss,” announced an excitable Bob. “Over the years I’ve seen the likes of Henry Saiz, Richie Hawtin and Carl Craig play all night long but this was the one I’ve always wanted to see. I witnessed a genius at work and couldn’t bring myself to miss a second of it, even when it felt like my bladder was going to burst. People do all sorts of weird shit at raves so me pissing my pants on three separate occasions was nothing out of the ordinary.

“The guy who I was with kept offering me beers and water so it was bound to happen,” continued Bob. “The first time was about two hours in and the room was packed, so it went unnoticed, the girl in front of me asked if I had spilled a cup of tea down her legs. The second was about five hours in and people thought I was fucked, so slowly moved away. Little did they know I’m just a die-hard Wink fan. The last one came when I was one of a handful of people watching his encore song. Security didn’t like what they saw and pulled me out of the club. It didn’t matter though, I got to see the full set so I was buzzing.”

Wunderground spoke with Bob’s wife, Julia, regarding her husband’s behaviour, “It doesn’t surprise me,” she told us. “We went to see Pink Floyd a few years ago and waited down the front of the festival for eleven hours to ensure we got the best spot. He took two poo’s and nine wee’s in front of everyone. He’s a dirty cunt, but highly dedicated to the music he loves. It’s admirable really.”

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