Cannabis Hospital To Open In Amsterdam
The world’s first ever cannabis hospital is set to open in Amsterdam later this year, it has emerged. The hospital will not only be the...
Slightly Strange
Doctors Now Using Ketamine To Treat Ketamine Addiction
In a move that is being heralded as the “sliced bread of medicine”, doctors have started using ketamine to treat ketamine addiction. After a “major...
Ibiza Sex Worker To Have Opening Party For Legs
An Ibiza sex worker is reportedly planning a “massive opening party” for her legs later this week. Not to be outdone by superclubs, the Moroccan-born...
Ikea Pills Actually A Small Bag Of Ingredients
Local drug sources have confirmed that the super strong batch of Ikea pills currently on the market are actually a small blue and yellow bag...
Torrential Rain Gets Last Minute Ticket For Glastonbury
Torrential rain is celebrating this afternoon after getting its hands on a last minute ticket for Glastonbury Festival. Torrential rain has been at almost every...
The Pope To Headline Mass Festival
Everybody’s favourite Paedophile smuggler, The Pope, has been announced as the main headliner for the upcoming Mass Festival, due to be held this summer somewhere...
Warm Up DJs To Be Replaced By Central Heating
According to clubland sources, all warm up DJs are to be replaced with central heating systems by the year 2020. The decision was made during...
Mr Kipling Launches Range Of Hash Brownies
Britain’s favourite baker, Mr Kipling, has announced that he is set to launch a brand new range of hash brownies. Sources within Mr Kipling’s company,...
Full Pills Now Impossible To Swallow
According to the latest research, full pills are now practically impossible to swallow, despite being smaller than the average food morsel swallowed during eating. Our...
Sesame Street To Introduce “Rat Addicted To Crack” Character
Producers of the popular children’s educational TV show Sesame Street have announced they are to introduce a new drug addict character to the show later...
Man Thinks He’s The Son Of God After 40 Days And 40 Nights On The Sesh
A man who spent forty days and forty nights on the sesh has told close friends that he now believes he is the son of...
Pioneer CDJ Achieves Sentience
Scientists in the US have reported that a Pioneer CDJ has achieved sentience and become a fully fledged Artificial Intelligence. The latest Pioneer CDJ Model,...
Bloke Taking Acid Claims He Could See Northern Lights From London In Middle Of Day In April
A bloke who was taking acid earlier this week has claimed that he was able to see the Northern Lights, from London, in the middle...
Man Who Thought He Invented Time Travel Actually Just On Ket
A man who momentarily thought he had invented time travel was brought back to earth with a bump after discovering he had actually just been...
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