R Kelly Fulfills Lifetime Dream To Grow Up Just Like Michael Jackson
R Kelly has claimed that he has no fears ahead of his impending legal battle, insisting that whatever happens, he will be happy in life...
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The California Raisins To Make Comeback As DJ Collective
The California Raisins have announced that they are set to relaunch themselves as a DJ collective and embark on world tour later this year. According...
Chris Brown Arrested On Suspicion Of Being A Cunt
World renowned dickhead and questionable rapper Chris Brown has reportedly been arrested on suspicion of being a cunt. Brown, best known for his involvement in...
Kids Now More Scared Of R Kelly Than They Are Of Spiders
Children all over the world are reportedly now more scared of the singer R Kelly than they are of spiders. Kelly, best known for being...
Sinead O’Connor Converts To Tech House DJ
Sinead O’Connor is reportedly set for her second major reinvention in as many weeks after announcing that she is now converting to being a tech...
Human Traffic 2 Mostly Just Old People Staying In Bed All Day Sunday
London’s “naughtiest geezer”, Danny Dyer, has revealed that the plot for the eagerly anticipated sequel to Human Traffic is mostly just about old people staying...
Mel B Now Selling Spice
Former Spice Girl Mel B has reportedly been caught in possession of an “extremely large quantity” of the illegal drug spice. According to reports, the...
Brian Harvey Advised Not To Take Kiki Challenge
Former East 17 singer Brian Harvey has been strongly advised against taking the Kiki challenge by a number of his closest friends. Harvey, who was...
Idris Elba Only Acting Like A DJ
In a shocking revelation from the dance music community, Idris Elba has admitted that he has been “only acting like a DJ” for the past...
Maradona Getting On It Highlight Of World Cup So Far
Footage of Argentinian legend, and arguably the greatest footballer of all time, Diego Maradona getting on it at Tuesday night’s match has been named as...
“Every Time I Click My Fingers… A Tech House Festival Launches”
Irish shit bag Bono has confirmed that every time he clicks his fingers, a tech house launches somewhere in the world. Speaking in his usual...
Cotton-Eye Joe Comes Out Of Hiding
Unconfirmed reports from the American deep south claim the illustrious Cotton-Eye Joe has finally come out of hiding. According to redneck Jebediah Jones, Cotton-Eye Joe,...
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