Beckhams Announce Fifth Child Named “Behind Ocean Beach”
Footballing clothes-horse David Beckham has announced that he has successfully porked Posh Spice for a 5th time, marking the occasion with a child to be...
Celeb
Latest Love Island Contestant A 55 Gallon Barrel Of Raw Sewage
According to the latest rumours, a brand new contestant, in the form of a fifty-five gallon barrel of raw sewage, is to be introduced to...
Tiger Woods On The Green
International sport’s favorite pantomime villain, Tiger Woods, is reportedly on the green. Sources close to the golfer have confirmed that Woods has been “hitting the...
World In Shock As Ruby Rose Reveals She’s Not A Real DJ Or A Real Rose
The entire world has been left in shock after Ruby Rose admitted that she is not a real DJ or even a real rose. The...
Harry Potter Admits Magic Mushrooms Are Best Thing About Being Wizard
The world’s most renowned wizard, Harry Potter, has revealed that the best thing about being a wizard is magic mushrooms. Following a mostly muggle upbringing,...
Alan Titchmarsh Caught With Britain’s Biggest Ever Weed Farm
Popular celebrity gardener Alan Titchmarsh has reportedly been arrested after being discovered with, what police are describing as, Britain’s biggest ever weed farm. According to...
Satan Taking Inspiration From Fyre Festival While Redecorating Hell
In breaking news from the depths of Hell, Satan is believed to be taking inspiration from the recent calamitous Fyre Festival while redecorating his home....
Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards Found Covered In Moss
Reports emerging from music industry suggests The Rolling Stones’ guitarist Keith Richards has been found covered in moss. Richards, who recently surprised the entire world...
Martin Scorsese To Direct Tomorrowland After Movie
Martin Scorsese has reportedly been hired to direct the after movie of this year’s Tomorrowland Festival in an attempt to alter public opinion of Belgium’s...
Gynecologist Confirms Donald Trump As Cunt
One of the world’s leading gynaecologists has confirmed that the American President, Donald Trump, is, in fact, a cunt. Dr Michael McGee, who claims to...
Goldilocks In K Hole After Sniffing Baby, Mammy and Daddy Bear’s Lines Of Ket
Goldilocks has reportedly been left in a “catastrophic K-hole” after sniffing Baby, Mammy and Daddy Bear’s lines of ketamine. It is not yet clear why...
P Diddy Changes Name To Techno Tit
American music mogul P Diddy has announced that he is set to change his name, for the six hundred and fifty seventh time, to Techno...
“I’m Never Going To Give You Up” Rick Astley Tells Cocaine
Eighties pop sensation Rick Astley has reportedly pledged his future to cocaine after telling the drug that he would never give it up. Astley, known...
Ed Sheeran Reveals He’s An ISIS Sympathiser While Denying The Holocaust – Everyone Still Loves Him
British singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran has sensationally revealed that he is an ISIS sympathiser, during an interview where he categorically denied the Holocaust, but it’s alright...
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