“Every Time I Click My Fingers… A Tech House Festival Launches”
Irish shit bag Bono has confirmed that every time he clicks his fingers, a tech house launches somewhere in the world. Speaking in his usual...
Celeb
Cotton-Eye Joe Comes Out Of Hiding
Unconfirmed reports from the American deep south claim the illustrious Cotton-Eye Joe has finally come out of hiding. According to redneck Jebediah Jones, Cotton-Eye Joe,...
Green Velvet To Star In La La Land 2
Chicago dance music legend Green Velvet has astonishingly been cast to star alongside Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in the eagerly anticipated La La Land...
CIA Uncover Plot To Spike Water At Kim Jong Un & Trump Meeting With MDMA
The CIA have reportedly uncovered a plot that would have seen all of the water at the Kim Jong Un and Trump meeting spiked with...
Deliveroo Driver Forgets Dip For Last Supper
Sources in Jerusalem have claimed the Last Supper has been ruined after an unnamed Deliveroo driver forgot to bring the dips. Reports suggest that a...
Trump To Use Honey Monster As Body Double For Kim Jong Un Meeting
Unconfirmed reports from Washington this morning suggest that President Trump may be planning to pull the wool over Kim Jong-Un’s eyes by using the Honey...
Stormzy Launches Line Of Tea Bags – Stormzy In A Teacup
UK grime sensation Stormzy is set to enter the world of caffeinated beverages with the launch of his very own line of tea bags, aptly...
Will Smith’s Curtains Burn Down
“Jada was just fanning my flames when the curtains went on fire” said Will Smith routinely as he spoke to reporters outside his home in...
Local Dealer Now Selling Grams Of KFC
“I’ve got boneless banquets, zinger burgers and them little pots of beans” said local drug dealer Jimmy ‘Nuggets’ McCarthy when speaking to Wunderground earlier today....
Sankeys To Open New Club On Coronation Street
Sankeys have announced they are set to open a brand new Manchester venue on the set of long running soap opera Coronation Street. Just over...
Katie Hopkins Kicked Out Of K-Hole For Being A Cunt
Outspoken journalist Katie Hopkins has reportedly been kicked out of a k-hole for being a total cunt. Hopkins, best known for being as likeable as...
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