DJ Loses 2 Stone On The Room Service And Sniff Diet
A touring DJ has reportedly lost a very impressive two stone using nothing but the “room service and sniff diet”. The DJ, who is currently...
Food
Sure We’ve Been Getting Mashed For Years Claim Spuds
Potatoes have spoken out in defence of session culture by claiming they have been “getting mashed for years” without feeling any detrimental effects. According to...
Deliveroo Driver Forgets Dip For Last Supper
Sources in Jerusalem have claimed the Last Supper has been ruined after an unnamed Deliveroo driver forgot to bring the dips. Reports suggest that a...
Man Willing To Let Wife Leave Dishes Until The Morning For International Women’s Day
A man from Yorkshire, England, has informed his wife that he is willing to let her leave tonight’s dishes until tomorrow morning in aid of...
Vegan Friendly Vinyl Tastes Like Shit Claims Bloke Eating Bag Of Records
A vegan who recently ate an entire bag of records has confirmed what we all expected by revealing that vegan friendly vinyl tastes like shit....
Stormzy Launches Line Of Tea Bags – Stormzy In A Teacup
UK grime sensation Stormzy is set to enter the world of caffeinated beverages with the launch of his very own line of tea bags, aptly...
Vegan Woman Considering Having Her Creme Eggs Frozen
“I hate a lot of things in life. Kids, edible meat, myself, my father, his father, murderous bastards who eat butter on their toast, even...
Hold On! I’m Made Out Of Bread & Wine! – Jesus: Lent Day 2: The Desert
“Hold on a fucking minute!” said a very hungry Jesus, sprawled out in the sand wearing nothing but a pair of Wayfarers and flip-flops, balls...
Vegans Warned Not To Bring Iceberg Lettuce On Party Cruise
The organisers of one of the world’s most exciting party cruises, Anchored, have warned all vegans that iceberg lettuces are strictly forbidden on their boat....
Customs Officers Find 765 Pineapples Hidden In Cocaine Stash
Customs officers in Spain have reportedly found over 700 pineapples stashed inside hallowed out blocks of cocaine. The bust was made as part of “Operation...
Man Who Put One Tab Of Acid Between Two Pills Claims To Have Invented “New Club Sandwhich”
A man who placed a tab of acid between two ecstasy tablets has claimed to have invented the “ultimate club sandwich”. Twenty-four-year-old Iver Tickle claims...
McDonald’s Introduce Happy Ending Meal For Adults
The world’s largest fast-food chain, McDonald’s, have revealed plans to introduce a “Happy Ending Meal” in all of their Amsterdam branches. According to McDonald’s menu...
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