Man Only Eating Healthy So He Can Drink More
A man who has apparently “turned over a new leaf” and “changed his lifestyle” by implementing a new healthy diet has admitted that he is...
Food
Marshmello Diagnosed With Type 2 Diabetes
Faceless American EDM superstar, Marshmello, has reportedly been diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. While the DJ/producer/giant marshmallow has yet to comment on the diagnosis, sources...
Man Catches Food Poisoning From Ten Pints Of Beer
A man has this morning called into work sick with a suspected case of food poisoning, which he believes he may have caught from one,...
Vegan Bacon Declared “A Total Waste Of Time”
Reports from the culinary world have found that vegan bacon is a total waste of fucking time for everyone who has been in any way...
London Nightclub To Open Vegan-Friendly Doughnut Bar
A hip London nightclub has announced that it is set to replace one of its regular bars with an “ultra-modern vegan-friendly doughnut bar”. In what...
36 Year Old Man In Nightclub Spends Entire Night Thinking About Kebab He’ll Get On Way Home
A thirty-six-year-old man who went to a nightclub for the first time in almost five years last night, has admitted that he spent the entire...
Watching Box Set Back Home In Bed Highlight Of Woman’s Night Out
A woman who recently went out on a “big night out with the girls” has admitted that the highlight of her evening was getting home...
Man Posting Pictures Of Quinoa Salad On Instagram Secretly Eating Fish & Chips
A man who has repeatedly shared pictures of quinoa salads on his Instagram page is believed to be secretly gorging on fish and chips. Matt...
Man Who Made Large Bag Of Mushrooms Disappear Now Thinks He’s Some Sort Of Wizard
A man who made a large bag of mushrooms “disappear” at a house party is reportedly now fully convinced that he is some sort of...
Girl Who Sniffed Quarter Of Coke On Saturday Refusing To Eat “Unhealthy” McDonald’s On Sunday
A girl who sniffed a quarter of coke while “spring cleaning” her house last Saturday, apparently refused to eat McDonald’s the next day, claiming it...
50% Of World’s Pineapples Now Contain Cocaine
The latest statistics from the food industry suggest that approximately fifty percent of the world’s pineapples now contain large quantities of cocaine. The shocking statistic...
Girl Who Just Turned 27 Shocked To Discover She Gets Hangovers Now
A girl who recently celebrated her twenty-seventh birthday was left in shock this morning after discovering that she now suffers from hangovers. According to reports,...
Cocaine Now Easier To Get Than Pizza – Except When You Actually Want It
The latest reports from the streets of London, England, suggest that cocaine is now easier to get in the city than pizza, except for when...
Whiskey Replaces Food As Best Way To Man’s Heart
In breaking news from the worlds of romance and beverages, whiskey has officially replaced food as the best way to a man’s heart. The latest...
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