Man Tells The Pink Elephants At Work He Probably Got Microdose Levels Wrong
An English man who has real trouble understanding the metric system has reportedly been heard telling pink elephants in work that he probably got his...
Science
Scientists Developing Heavy Metal Vaccine
Reports suggest that scientists in an English university are on the brink of releasing a vaccine for heavy metal. According to Wunderground sources, being a...
Doctors Confirm That Being A Tech House Fan May Be Hereditary
Doctors have confirmed that being a tech house fan could be caused by a hereditary shit taste in music. According to research, over half of...
Man’s Head Swells To Size Of Beach Ball After Suffering Allergic Reaction To Tech House
A man’s head has reportedly swollen to the size of a beach ball after suffering a severe allergic reaction to tech house. James Swann, a...
Scientists Successfully Clone Carl Cox
After years of trying to genetically engineer the perfect DJ, backyard scientists in a London council estate have finally just said “fuck it” and cloned...
Bloke On Rollover Accidentally Takes The Morning After Pill
A bloke on the roll over has been left with a “severely upset tummy” after accidentally taking the morning after pill. Gareth Jenkins, a twenty...
Vegan DJ Not Sure Whether To Tell People He’s A Vegan Or A DJ First
A vegan DJ has admitted that he is unsure whether he should introduce himself to new people as a vegan or a DJ first. Hans...
Chinese Moon Probe Discovers “New Ibiza” On Dark Side Of Moon
A Chinese probe recently sent to observe the dark side of the moon has reportedly discovered the next “new Ibiza”. A spokesperson for Chinese Lunar...
Kids Who Listen To Marshmello 10 Times More Likely To Grow Up American
A report has found that children who listen to Marshmello between the ages of two and twelve are ten times more likely to grow up...
World’s First Buckfast Powered Car Breaks Land Speed Record
The world’s first Buckfast powered car has reportedly broken the land speed record while taking its first ever test drive. The car, which was developed...
Latest Version Of Virtual DJ Actually Shows Up At Your House And DJs For You
An American software engineer has today confirmed that the latest version of Virtual DJ is so advanced, it actually shows up at your house and...
Shite-Talking Promoter Morphs Into Fat Shit
A UK based promoter who has spent much of the last twenty years talking shit about the parties he runs has reportedly fully morphed from...
Doctors Prescribing Drumcode Radio As Cure For Insomnia
Reports from Scandinavia suggest that Swedish doctors are now prescribing episodes of the Drumcode Radio show as a cure for insomnia. Medical reports claim that...
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