Graham

Groovefest has been nominated for this year’s Cunt of The Year Award after ruining ticket holders’ summers by cancelling the festival at the very last minute. Groovefest broke the news to ticket

A recent study has found that your bag of drugs is always in the last pocket you check. The study, carried out by the Society of Lost Drugs, confirmed that all unlost

Berghain have announced that they are to open a new “even harder to get into” club in North Korea’s capital Pyongyang. The Berlin based club have been in negotiations with North Korean

Newly uncovered archaeological evidence from Peru suggests that Machu Picchu was actually the Earth’s first super club. Dr Henry Jones, an expert in ancient civilisations, claims to have uncovered a number of

Drug dealers all over the world are preparing themselves for the busiest night of the year as Netflix premieres all ten episodes of Narcos season two tomorrow night. Local cocaine dealer Michael

A man taking magic mushrooms claims to have developed the world’s greatest tinfoil hat. Peter Rocastle, currently “tripping balls”, claims that the hat he has developed not only stops aliens from stealing

Full time animal rights activist and part time electronic music producer Moby has announced that he is to eat a full packet of sausages in a bid to raise funds for the

The entire world has been left in shock this morning after being viciously assaulted by Chris Brown’s music and deluded antics. According to reports, ninety percent of the world had forgotten about

A leading British gynecologist has confirmed that Calvin Harris is in fact a fanny. Telulah Muff, head of research at the British Institute of Fannies and Flutes, or BIFF, made the shocking