All Blacks Offer “Rent A Crowd” Service For Techno Festivals
The New Zealand national rugby team, also known as the All Blacks, have announced that they will be offering their services as a rent a...
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DJ Who Earns £3,000 An Hour To Play Music In Clubs Upset That He’s Not Earning Enough From Spotify
A DJ who earns at least three thousand pounds per hour to play music in nightclubs is said to be extremely upset because he’s not...
Marshmello Actually Chimpanzee With Head Stuck In Bucket
News emerging from America this evening suggests that the popular EDM DJ Marshmello is actually a chimpanzee with his head stuck in a bucket. According...
EDM Stars Spending Up To 6 Hours A Day In Mid-Air
Reports emerging from the electronic music industry suggests that EDM stars are now spending up to six hours a day in mid-air. According to our...
Majority Of Dance Music Fans Now In Mexico & India
The latest online statistics have confirmed the majority of the world’s dance music fans are now located in Mexico and India. The news sees a...
Global Warming Causing Tour Managers To Sweat Twice As Much During Comedowns
Tour managers across the electronic music industry are reportedly now sweating twice as much during comedowns as a result of global warming. Already believed to...
Royal Baby Reveals He’s Already Sick Of Tech House
The Duchess of Cambridge has this morning given birth to her third child, a healthy baby boy. The yet to be named newborn, likely to...
Woman Who Threw Festival Themed House Party Kicked Out Of Own Home For Skinny Dipping In Shower
A woman who threw a festival themed house party has reportedly been kicked out of her own home for skinny dipping in the shower. Sena...
DJ Now The Most Important Thing To Have Ever Existed
An American DJ is now considered to be the most important thing to have ever existed, in his own imagination. Matthew Slippers, aka DJ Slip...
The World’s Last Male Hipster Is On 24 Hour Death Watch
The world’s hipster population is teetering on the brink of extinction after the last ever male was placed on twenty-four-hour death watch. Hipster numbers have...
Man Who Says Berghain Over 9000 Times Each Day Finally Explodes
A man who has said the word Berghain at least 9,000 times per day, for the last five years, has reportedly exploded. Michael James, a...
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