Soundcloud To Be Killed Off In Eastenders Xmas Special
A leaked Christmas trailer for Eastenders hints at the popular streaming platform Soundcloud being killed off in an emotional Boxing Day farewell episode. The special...
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DJ Jailed For 18 Months For Being Shite
A young DJ has been jailed for 18 months for the butchering of ‘basically every mix he has ever attempted.’ DJ Snapchat, a 24-year-old disk...
Police Uncover A Huge Dickhead Farm Off The Coast Of Ibiza
Police searching for the cause of the widespread dickhead outbreak in Ibiza have uncovered a massive illegal dickhead farm aboard a fishing trawler off the...
99% Of Dixon’s Clothes Handed Down By His Father
In rather bizarre news from the electronic music industry, it has been revealed that approximately ninety-nine percent of Dixon’s clothes are passed down to him...
Bedroom DJ Only Plays His Own House
An up and coming bedroom DJ has revealed that he is happy with his surroundings and only ever intends to play his own house. Andrew...
Marvel Announce New Horse-Based Superhero Called Ketaman
Comic book powerhouse Marvel has announced a brand new horse-based superhero comic set to be known as Ketaman. According to insiders, the comic series has...
Stormzy And Darude Announce Collaboration – SandStormzy
In exciting news from the music industry, iconic dance music producer Darude has announced that he is to make a collaboration with UK grime mogul...
New Richie Hawtin Live Show “Nothing But Cowbell”
Richie Hawtin is reportedly ready to launch a new musical project with a live show that consists of “nothing but cowbell“. Sources from within the...
People Who Climb Scaffolding At Festivals Are Cunts, Claims Report
An independent report on behaviour at music festivals has found that people who chose to climb scaffolding are total cunts. According to the report, people...
Facebook Now Just Videos Of Festivals
According to the latest observations, Facebook is now made up entirely of videos taken at various music festivals. Leading social media experts claim that the...
Music Nazi Invades Kitchen
An annoying music Nazi at a local party has reportedly invaded the kitchen, forcing tens of people to listen to his own substandard choice of...
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