Brexit Canceled Following Poor Ticket Sales
Brexit has officially been canceled following eighteen month’s of poor ticket sales, with interest in the event seemingly at its lowest since it was announced...
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Mary & Joseph Turned Away From Berghain
Reports from Berlin suggest that Mary & Joseph have been turned away from Berghain, forcing the pair of weary travelers to look elsewhere for a...
Martin Solveig Chokes To Death On His Own Foot
The music industry is in mourning today after French DJ and producer Martin Solveig choked to death on his foot. Solveig was rushed to hospital...
“Who The Fuck Is Jeffrey Sutorius?” Asks Dash Berlin Fan
A confused Dash Berlin fan has been left questioning reality after noticing a picture of his favourite artist under the name Jeffrey Sutorius. Michael Delany...
We Are FSTVL Stage So Big It Needs Its Own Border After Brexit
We Are FSTVL have today announced that 2018 will be the last year their infamous main stage will be erected without a border. The festival...
DJ Furious He Can’t Park His Private Jet Directly Outside Nightclub
A DJ has been left furious after it was confirmed that he would not be able to park his private jet directly outside a nightclub’s...
Ibiza Worker Spends 54 Days In Bed After Returning To UK
An Ibiza worker is reportedly nearly ready to get up after spending fifty-four days in bed following her return to the UK. Kirsty Tompkins, a...
Producer Unsurprisingly Wants Another Synth For Christmas
A producer who owns at least forty different synths, and another sixty miscellaneous pieces of hardware, has put a brand new synth at the top...
Man Hires Private Investigator After Last Beer Goes Missing From Fridge At House Party
A man at a house party has reportedly hired a private investigator after his last beer went missing out of the fridge. Brian Blair, believes...
World’s First Buckfast Powered Car Breaks Land Speed Record
The world’s first Buckfast powered car has reportedly broken the land speed record while taking its first ever test drive. The car, which was developed...
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