No News Today, So Here’s Another Person That’s Died
Dance music media has been saved from a slow news day by the death of a somewhat-known artist from the 90s. Editors reportedly celebrated the arrival of the news, after a difficult
Clubbers Fear Dancing Badly Could Damage Personal Brand They Do Not Have
Clubbers have admitted they are afraid to dance badly in nightclubs in case it damages the personal brand they do not yet have. The concern has become increasingly common among young people
School Teacher Forced To Intervene As Tour Manager Dad Gives Honest Career Talk
A school teacher was forced to intervene yesterday after a tour manager giving a career talk began explaining what his job actually involves. The man had been invited to speak during “Bring
New Controller Promises Producers Unprecedented Control Over Track They Will Never Release
A new controller has promised producers unprecedented control over the track they are never going to release. The device, which features 16 pads, eight knobs, four faders and a screen that can
Man Who Spent Life Praising Analogue Warmth Dies Cold, Wrong And Surrounded By Records
A man who spent his entire life praising the “analogue warmth” of vinyl has died cold, wrong and surrounded by records. The 54-year-old audiophile was reportedly stranded in freezing conditions following a
€20K Headliner Thinks Expensive Clubs Are Ruining The Culture
A house act with a history of charging fees above €20,000 per set has warned that expensive clubs are ruining dance music culture. The DJ made the comments in a heartfelt social
Chemical Brother’s “Hey Boy Hey Girl” Re-Released As “Hey They”
The Chemical Brother’s have revealed that they will be re-releasing their 1999 hit single Hey Boy Hey Girl as a gender neutral track, renamed “Hey They” and will be a far greater
Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe
An Ibizan nightclub has been hailed by physicists as the most densely packed place in the universe, overtaking black holes, Tiesto’s head, and the blessed Madonna’s knickers to claim the title. Scientists
“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee
Conference panel attendees live an average of 4.5 years longer than the rest of us, mostly due to all the additional sleep, claims the new International Business Techno Report On Business Trends
