Events

Clubbers Fear Dancing Badly Could Damage Personal Brand They Do Not Have

Clubbers have admitted they are afraid to dance badly in nightclubs in case it damages the personal brand they do not yet have. The concern has become increasingly common among young people

September 3, 2026

Clubs·People Of The World

DJ Booth Surrounded By People Hoping It Has Phone Charger

A nightclub DJ booth was last night surrounded by a herd of increasingly desperate clubbers who hoped it might also function as a public phone-charging station. Witnesses said the crowd began forming

April 30, 2026

Clubs·Fans·Humans·People Of The World

Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe

An Ibizan nightclub has been hailed by physicists as the most densely packed place in the universe, overtaking black holes, Tiesto’s head, and the blessed Madonna’s knickers to claim the title. Scientists

November 8, 2023

Clubs

Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’

A lad who purchased what he is calling ‘a fairly decent sized bag of Ket’ has this morning stumbled out of the portaloo he has called home since 2019, asking builders on

May 19, 2023

Festivals·People Of The World

Plastic-Free Festival In Essex Sees Five Thousand Turned Away

An eco-friendly festival in Essex has this morning announced bankruptcy having turned away all 5000 ticket holders last weekend, as plastic was prohibited from the festival grounds. The extremely large and frustrated

April 30, 2023

Festivals

Girl’s Coachella Footage Wins Top Prize At Sundance Film Festival

This girls shaky camera footage shot from the crowd at Coachella has just swept the board the Sundance Film Festival, taking home ‘Best Film’, ‘Best Short Film’ and ‘Best Thing Shot During

April 25, 2023

Clubs·Fans·Festivals

DJ Is An Expert At Syncing Tracks To The Firework Display, Somehow

DJs have evolved the ability to see into the future. Either that, or they’ve developed the ability to mindread stage production staff and know their every move before they make it, scientists

April 3, 2023

DJs·Festivals·Tech

This Festival Announced A Similar Line-Up To Everybody Else, And It’s Apparently Worth Writing A News Piece About

This bog standard festival has announced the same shit they announce every year, and we’re going to pay talented people with hopes and dreams, and better places to be, to sit down

March 31, 2023

Festivals·Scene

Berghain Hope To Resume Not Letting People In Sometime This Year

The legendary Berlin club Berghain, famous around the world for its strict door policy, had said it hopes to resume turning people away at some stage this summer. “2020 was awful’ said

February 20, 2021

Clubs

DJ Mag Rename ‘Top 100 Clubs’ To ‘Top 100 Financial Liabilities’ For 2021

DJ Mag has announced that this year’s Top 100 Clubs poll will be rebranded as the Top 100 Financial Liabilities poll, for obvious reasons. Nightclubs, previously hedonistic safe-havens celebrated by millions around

February 18, 2021

Clubs

Clubbers Fear Dancing Badly Could Damage Personal Brand They Do Not Have

DJ Booth Surrounded By People Hoping It Has Phone Charger

Ibiza Club Surpasses Black Hole As the Most Densely Packed Place In The Universe

Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’

Plastic-Free Festival In Essex Sees Five Thousand Turned Away

Girl’s Coachella Footage Wins Top Prize At Sundance Film Festival

DJ Is An Expert At Syncing Tracks To The Firework Display, Somehow

This Festival Announced A Similar Line-Up To Everybody Else, And It’s Apparently Worth Writing A News Piece About

Berghain Hope To Resume Not Letting People In Sometime This Year

DJ Mag Rename ‘Top 100 Clubs’ To ‘Top 100 Financial Liabilities’ For 2021

Berlin Nightclub Berghain Introduce Secret Handshake Door Policy

“Crystal Meth Actually Good For You” Admit Doctors

“People Who Like EDM Are Technically Retarded” Claims Study

Case Closed: Tupac Death Labelled Covid-19