Industry Folk

“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee

Conference panel attendees live an average of 4.5 years longer than the rest of us, mostly due to all the additional sleep, claims the new International Business Techno Report On Business Trends

November 7, 2023

Industry Folk

Tour Manager Not Really Sure What His Job Is

The tour manager of a popular British DJ has admitted that he isn’t really sure what his job actually entails. Now into his third year of employment, Barry Smith claimed that when

August 27, 2019

Industry Folk

Apology Ghostwriters Set To Be Next Big Trend In Dance Music

Apology ghostwriters are set to be the biggest craze in dance music with more and more artists fucking up and needing to make apologies. Foul-mouthed racist rants, misogynistic views and unwanted attention

August 23, 2019

Industry Folk

Opening DJ Wants To Know Can He Borrow Headphones

An opening DJ is hopeful of borrowing a set of headphones to perform his set as he hasn’t yet managed to buy himself a set good enough to use while playing out.

July 30, 2019

DJs·Industry Folk

5 Out Of 5 Sound Engineers “Zone Out” When DJs Talk To Them

A recent survey has found that approximately one hundred percent of sound engineers completely “zone out” during conversations with DJs. While some sound engineers have admitted they would engage in conversations with

July 3, 2019

DJs·Industry Folk

Sound Engineers Genetically Less Likely To Smile

A recent article in Genetics Weekly, a little known magazine set in the murky world of genetics, has revealed that sound engineers may, in fact, be incapable of smiling. Dr Paul Bonapart,

July 2, 2019

Industry Folk

Promoter Celebrates Lifelong Goal Of Paying Rent On Time

A local promoter is reportedly celebrating this morning after achieving his lifelong goal of paying his rent on time. Paul Durkin, one of the only surviving grime promoters left in the UK,

June 25, 2019

Industry Folk·Promoters

Sound Engineer Has Zero Fucks Left To Give To Promoter

A sound engineer has warned all promoters to stay out of his way during an upcoming event, insisting that he has “zero fucks” left to give them. Andy Barton, a failed musician

June 24, 2019

Industry Folk·Promoters

Selling Out The Best Way To Sell Out Claims Promoter

A successful club promoter has revealed that selling out is the key to his success and the secret to selling out shows. Kurt Milton, the founder of one of the world’s biggest

June 21, 2019

Industry Folk·Promoters

Club Promoter Sacks Photographer Because Show With 12 People Looked Quiet In Photos

A club promoter has reportedly fired his photographer after pictures of a recent show with just twelve people at it made the event look quiet. The promoter, known only as Big Jon,

June 18, 2019

Industry Folk·Promoters

“Best Nap I’ve Had In Years’ Says Conference Panel Attendee

Tour Manager Not Really Sure What His Job Is

Apology Ghostwriters Set To Be Next Big Trend In Dance Music

Opening DJ Wants To Know Can He Borrow Headphones

5 Out Of 5 Sound Engineers “Zone Out” When DJs Talk To Them

Sound Engineers Genetically Less Likely To Smile

Promoter Celebrates Lifelong Goal Of Paying Rent On Time

Sound Engineer Has Zero Fucks Left To Give To Promoter

Selling Out The Best Way To Sell Out Claims Promoter

Club Promoter Sacks Photographer Because Show With 12 People Looked Quiet In Photos

Berlin Nightclub Berghain Introduce Secret Handshake Door Policy

“Crystal Meth Actually Good For You” Admit Doctors

“People Who Like EDM Are Technically Retarded” Claims Study

Case Closed: Tupac Death Labelled Covid-19