Much-loved Bulgarian House & Techno act, Kink, has this weekend added a Bosch Air Fryer to his live setup.
“I fucking love it!” said KINK.
“You can literally do anything with this thing. They’re brilliant!”
“You know me, I’m always playing around with new toys and seeing how creative I can be. I started running out of new hardware options sometime last year. I had just played with it all! It started to get boring for me.”
“One Saturday afternoon I was chasing that Dopamine around my local shopping center. Seeing what could I find that I hadn’t already used to make music with.”
“I made a drum loop on some car bonnets in the car park. I recorded some claps with some old guy’s fake teeth. I even bought a high hat. I was walking around with it on, smashing into low-hanging lights and exit signs… it wasn’t enjoyable.”
“But something changed. I turned a corner past some shops, and it instantly filled my nostrils. That smell I know so well. Hardware!”
“I followed the scent like a bloodhound on the chase, and around 30 seconds later I hit the mother-load! The biggest shop you’ve ever seen, at least it felt that way to me as I stared in its window, drooling like a small child outside a candy shop.”
“It was white goods as far as the eye could see! Fridges, dishwashers, blenders… Heaven!”
“I spent 3 days in that shop. I hid in a chest freezer at closing time, and again at opening time, breathing through a snorkel I fashioned out of some old amplifier tubes I carry with me everywhere I go.”
“During the day, I was playing fairly crowd-friendly stuff, as the shop was full of customers. I knocked out a bit of vocal house of a Dyson Hoover rigged up to a toaster, then moved on to some floaty vibes recorded on a foot spa, and then when I had them eating out of the palm of my hand, I dropped a remix or Orbital’s ‘Belfast’ played live on a George Forman grill, with the help of a deep fat fryer… for those bottom notes, of course.”
“At night, I would crawl out of the chest freezer and go absolutely mental! I can’t honestly tell you what would happen, it’s like I blanked out and went to a higher place! Just so much new hardware for me to fuck around with, I think I kind of lost myself in that place, you know?”
“When I finally came around and gained consciousness, I was in the back of a taxi with the driver shouting at me to wake up. In the seat beside me, seatbelt on, ready for action… was the Airfryer. Everybody was telling me about these things, the stuff they can do. I didn’t really believe it. But fuck me, they’re good. They’re really good.”
“And so here we are weeks later, and it’s my favourite piece of kit. I’m going to sell all my studio gear I think. The air fryer is just so versatile, there really isn’t anything it can’t do.”
Sources close to the shopping center inform us that Kink was found fast asleep inside a chest freezer, spooning an Air Fryer, while snoring the exact rhythm to Carl Craig’s anthem ‘Strings Of Life’. He was carried into a taxi, and while he is welcome to keep the Air Fryer, he is no longer welcome in the shopping center.