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July 18, 2013
1 min read

Berlin Nightclub Berghain Introduce Secret Handshake Door Policy

Door staff at Berlin nightclub, Berghain, have begun using a secret handshake in an effort to curb the number of unwanted people attempting to gain entry into the club.

Infamous gatekeeper, Sven Marquadt, explained that, ‘too many people who weren’t “right” for the club have been trying to gain entry. With the handshake if you’re not a Berliner or a part of the scene then you won’t get in.’

Over two weekends in June the handshake was shown to people who gained access to the club through the old method so now the only way for others to gain entry is to have the handshake shown to them by people who were there to learn it firsthand.

‘It’s like word of mouth. People will show the handshake to other people, of course, but this way it ensures that the people who spread it were approved by myself personally and will know the type of club goer that Berghain looks for,’ added Marquadt.

The management hope that the policy will prevent people from going to extreme lengths to gain entry into the club such as ‘having their faces pierced to look more alternative, wearing crotchless leather chaps or trying to pass as German by speaking English but in a vaguely offensive, zany German accent.’

The new policy has disappointed many people, especially tourists who have traveled long distances in a bid to experience the club. We spoke to one US tourist, who has declined to be named, about his experience.

‘I’d been refused every time and friends said that the club likes German speakers, men with beards and homosexuals so to guarantee entry I spent two months learning conversational German, growing a beard and forcing myself into an assortment of sex acts with local men.’

‘I’m so devastated, my whole life is ruined,’ he wept while taking a shower in his clothing, ‘all that hard work…and cock, for nothing.’

Stu

Stu

15,272 Comments Leave a Reply

  5. My view on Berghain after being refused to get in:

    Berlin, here I am. Give me your light, expand my mind, show me how to dance while laughing, and teach me how to smile while listening. Breathing your so special vibe I’m sure I won’t be able to live without a palm tree in the living room anymore.

    But Sunday arrives and dressed all in black we went to Berghain.
    -Sorry, we don’t speak german.
    + How old are you?
    Cool, at least the first man is thinking about it and needs to share opinion with the second one.
    Kind of heard something like “Spaniards” and the next speech we heard was: sorry, you’re not getting in.
    Suddenly it all fell down.
    After a second try and getting the answer “Because we said NO!” when asked why, I just took Berghain out of my mind.

    Reflecting on it, honestly, I’ve seen groups of friends that separate into pairs before the cue ( even we did it), people hidding what they are ( my self, trying to hide my curly latin hair) WTF!!? I feel I don’t want to meet the crowd that get in! Cold and alone people that hide themselves, not taking care of their friends. If you want to get in just think about yourself “Oh god! It’s Panorma! I can enjoy alone there! I just need to get in at all costs and nothing else matters”
    Sincerely I just miss not having tried out its Soundsystem.

    But please, before trying to get into Berghain think about this: would you perfer to pray alone in a cold cathedral or to shout, dance and enjoy with your true people in a church.

    Berlin is full of amazing churches so fuck cathedrals!

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