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88% Of DJs Were Super-Spreaders Before Covid, Report Claims

88% Of DJs Were Super-Spreaders Before Covid, Report Claims

Eighty-eight percent of touring DJs were classed as super-spreaders long before the term became known publicly, a leading Virologist has written in The New Scientist this month. 

“The average touring DJ will spend several hours a day crammed into a small DJ booth, either at a festival or in a club – or often both in one day.”

“During this time, they are constantly mobbed by sweaty worshippers. The DJ booth is usually overflowing with them. They’re hugging the DJ, spitting all over them when they talk, spraying sweat molecules all over them, up and down the performer’s body like a human sweat spray-booth, as they flail their floppy arms around in the air to the music.”

“Several hundred people at any given event will drunkenly urinate on their hands, and without proper hand-washing facilities, the DJ will later be forced to shake hands with every single one of them as they flap adoringly over the booth trying to show the DJ how ‘sound’ they are and maybe make friends forever.”

“Having picked up several strains of most deadly viruses throughout the day, the artist will then proceed to an after-party, then to an after-after party, and finally, the after-after-final-party, which is usually just the DJ having sleepy forgettable sex with whoever didn’t annoy them the most.”

“During each of these events, the DJ is picking up additional virus strains from the people, the filthy venues and finally, the not-really-annoying but most certainly riddled ‘lover’ the DJ chooses to share their encyclopedia of sickness with back at the hotel”

“Finally, they’ll climb into a giant-sealed container with 300 other people and fly to the next event, sharing the love and picking up whatever else they can manage, before jumping into the next DJ booth, and repeating the process.”

“Each time picking up whatever is going, and sharing what they’ve got.”

“We estimate a mostly-healthy festival crowd will on average pick up at least 3 infectious diseases within just the first half-hour of the headline DJ showing up at the event.”

“The advice is simple. If you have to spend time with a well-known DJ or anybody with over 10,000 followers on Instagram or a photo of them with some decks, keep your distance, wash your hands regularly and avoid contact with the elderly or high-risk for at least 14 days.”

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