A drum n bass DJ has admitted that he only knows two genres of music, drum n bass and anything that’s not drum n bass.
Tommy Grainger, a.k.a. DJ Tommy G, a.k.a. The Tominator, a.k.a. Grainge Hill, a.k.a. Tom The Don, a.k.a. T&G, a.k.a. Tommy Nocker, a.k.a. Bass-in-Nova, a.k.a. The Bass Binman, a.k.a. Facemelter, a.k.a. Blow White & 7 Garries, claimed that he can not tell the difference between any genres, unless he is listening to drum n bass.
“People keep making a big deal out of this but, honestly, it’s simple, it’s either drum n bass or it’s not drum n bass. You get me?” Grainger said during a chat with Wunderground yesterday. “Everyone’s going on about ‘oh this lad only knows two genre blah blah blah’ or ‘how can you be a DJ if you can’t tell the difference between this and that?’ and the truth is, I couldn’t give a rats what anyone thinks or says, it’s either drum n bass, or it’s not.”
“It’s not like I’m sitting here all dumb listening to hip hop and thinking it’s deep house,” he continued. “I’m not stupid, I know that these things exist and what they are, it’s just that when I hear them, I think ‘oh that’s not drum n bass, isn’t it shit’ and then turn it off, so rather than not knowing what it is, I just know what it’s not, and that’s good enough for me to know I don’t want to listen to it.”
“Anyway, all of those people saying I only know two genres are only showing their own ignorance,” he claimed audaciously. “There are, like, a million different genres of drum n bass. Why do you think I’ve got so many aliases? I bet none of them can tell the differences between darkcore, darkstep or technostep, and I’m pretty damn sure they won’t be able to pick a liquid funk track out of neurofunk set. And they have the cheek to talk about my musical knowledge.”
Experts have confirmed that Mr Grainger’s evaluation of musical genres is, in fact, wrong because drum n bass is not actually music, it’s just noise.