Graham

Police have today finally arrested a conman who has had a twenty year career exploiting stupid people by charging them upwards of €100,000 per night to be “basically a human iPod”. The

Police have today finally arrested a conman who has had a twenty year career exploiting stupid people by charging them upwards of €100,000 per night to be “basically a human iPod”. The

The self respect of cavorting EDM mega-cretin, Steve ‘Cake’ Aoki, has finally been located after an agonising twenty year search – chained to the wall in Joe Fritzl’s fuck dungeon. Aoki, who

Fans of burnished pop pricks, One Direction, were left crying like the mewling children they are after rumours of a split were confirmed when famed band splitter Yoko Ono was spotted leaving

Mark Knight, house heavyweight, beard owner and cousin of 80s talking car partnered supercop, Michael Knight, blazes back into the scene this September fistpumping himself silly to this slick groove based remix

Shouting drunk abuse at people in the streets has been declared the official number one pastime of all local knobheads. The news was announced at this week’s annual Knobheads Convention which takes

A local hipster has been admitted to hospital with allergic-like symptoms after eating pork that wasn’t artfully marinated overnight and then pulled by a middle class cretin. Witnesses claim that James Harrison,

Reports have emerged today of a retired national hunt racehorse named “Aunty Frank” that feels like she constantly needs to urinate after becoming addicted to the class B clubbing drug, ketamine. Aunty

Britain’s favourite anachronistic, crown-wearing waving woman, Queen Elizabeth II, has taken time out of her busy schedule of opening supermarkets and ignoring institutional child abuse to host a techno party to celebrate

A young DJ who has enjoyed some moderate success has made a ten year plan in which he is mostly focusing on getting smashed and fucking groupies. Peter Jenkins (20) came up