Bayfield

NASA scientists have today announced the discovery of an alternate universe in which characterless, beige fuckwits like Calvin Harris “can command absurdist fees, sometimes over million a set” and regularly top the

A recent study by the National Research Association (NRA) has sensationally discovered that one in three Americans now owns a firearm, whether registered or bought on the black market, in case “EDM

A report published by the NHS earlier this week has left many parents in the south of England in a state of fear as it was revealed that white people with dreadlocks

Wetherspoons announced earlier today that they will be investing in many of the disused pound stores and abandoned night clubs in Dalston over the next twelve months with plans to open an

A Samaritan raver, with a jaw locked tighter than a pre-marriage Catholic girl’s chastity belt, was earlier this week awarded an OBE by Her Majesty the Queen for his “unerring dedication to

There was another twist in the tragic story of Fabric’s illegitimate closure earlier this week after local property developers announced that the once totemic bastion of underground culture is to be gutted

Spokespeople for corporate giant, and all round moral black hole, Tesco say they are extremely excited to welcome a record number of new staff to the Reich company as festival season draws

Honey voiced darling of mums’ who do the school run Ronan Keating, a man voted “Lonely House Wives Choice” fifteen years running by Take A Break magazine readers and also described as

There was both public outcry and dismay earlier today as it was sensationally revealed that UK hip-hop crew, and all round dance music mavericks, Foreign Beggars were deported, in what the Home

Independent social media watchdog Chat Shit Get Banned, or CSGB, has today confirmed that a staggering ninety four percent of images posted by hipsters, who claim to be “adventurers”, are actually posted