A DJ, who had been in a coma for ten years, has woken up and sensationally asked to be put back to sleep just hours after waking up.
Chris Spencer, who was originally hospitalised in 2004 after a pallet of cakes fell on his head, outrageously asked to be put back to sleep after seeing a “live performance” from Steve Aoki on the television set in his hospital bedroom.
“At first I wasn’t really sure what I was watching, it looked like some sort of weird stage performance like Cirque du Soleil. If Cirque du Soleil was way gayer and for children,” explained Chris from his hospital bed. “Then I asked the nurse who this schmuck was and she told me he was one of the biggest DJs in the world.”
“I literally shit myself when I heard this guy on the stage, doing absolutely no DJing, was one of the world’s biggest DJs,” admitted Mr. Spencer. “Although that was probably as much down to the fact that I’ve been shitting myself on a daily basis and wearing adult diapers for the last ten years than it was down to the shock of finding out this guy was a DJ.”
“Then he started throwing cakes into the crowd,” continued Mr. Spencer tentatively. “I’ve had nothing but nightmares about flying cakes for the last ten years, then I wake up and see this asshole destroying my profession while throwing cakes at his audience. If this is what reality is I’d rather go back to my nightmares.”
“So I asked the doctor to put me back to sleep,” reveled the patient, “but unfortunately induced coma is only used to treat severe brain injuries. Listening to enough of this Steve Aoki guy could probably get me a severe brain injury but I really don’t think I’d be able to stand that pathetic shit for an adequate amount of time.”
“While I’m happy to be awake now the time directly after I woke up was quite a low point for me, as I adjusted to having spent ten years of my life asleep. The only thing that got me through it were the pretty nurses and the sponge baths,” continued Mr. spencer with a cheeky grin. “Now I’m just concentrating on getting my strength back up and getting out and seeing some real dance music and taking some non prescription medication,” he added with a wink.
