A young man from Potsdale in Upstate New York has tearfully confessed to friends today that the reason he has been avoiding going to nightclubs with them was a result of his suffering from “technophobia”.
It would seem from statements made by his close friends that Gunther Farrage (22) has not been to a nightclub in over a year. One friend noticed the trend, and when he raised the issue with Mr. Farrage via email, it seems he confessed that he was suffering with an extreme case of technophobia. When Mr. Farrage’s friend, Eugene Oregon, tried to explain that Mr. Farrage’s understanding of technophobia was flawed, it seems that he couldn’t even hear mention of the musical style, so serious was his supposed condition.
In an interview with Wunderground, Mr. Oregon said, “Gunther’s been staying in a lot. We knew something was wrong but nobody could pinpoint it. We’d been going to the local nightclub in Canojohare, which is called the “TechHouse”. He only came with us once, and sat there updating his Twitter account for most of it.”
It seems Mr Farrage had heard the term Technophobia on the TV show “Shark Tank”, when it was uttered from the salivating jowls of the vile petulant little cash-whore Kevin O’Leary. He self diagnosed after having a quick Google in the privacy of his bedroom, and has since been shunning any place or activity where he might encounter that style of music.
He recently tweeted, “I have Technophobia, can someone help?” He then copy and pasted this verbatim and posted it on Facebook, Google Plus, HI5 and his 5 other social media accounts. The backlash saw people explain to him that his understanding was flawed, however, Gunther mistook this as “Hating on a playa 4 stating his feelings.”
This was the first time that his friends and relatives made the connection and understood his misunderstanding. His friends now have him secured in quarantine on a steady drip of ketamine and are exposing him to ambient house in the hope that he can overcome his phobia by the end of the year.
