Sensational news has emerged from Brazil today after it was revealed that the Dutch EDM superstar Hardwell has been arrested on the streets of São Paulo after an alleged assault on fellow DJ Hernán Cattáneo.
The pair are said to be in the Brazilian city supporting their respective nation’s football teams ahead of tonight’s World Cup semi final showdown between the Netherlands and Argentina.
Initial reports indicate that Hardwell committed the unprovoked attack after an evening drinking session with a group of, what witnesses have described as “rowdy” and “orange”, Dutch football fans.
Bartender Donald Costa gave his account of the moments leading to up to the assault, “I noticed something strange about the group of Dutch football fans early on yesterday, there was a group of big tough looking guys in Orange football jerseys and then there was one little, gimpy, hobbit-like guy in a silver sequined blazer, it just didn’t quite add up.”
After identifying Hardwell as the little, gimpy, hobbit-like guy in a silver sequined blazer from a picture in an issue of DJ Mag, Mr. Costa continued, “Yeah that’s the guy, it seemed like the rest of the fans were making fun him. I think the whole attack was just a desperate attempt to win their respect.”
Mr. Costa also revealed that Hardwell then started to “drink like a lunatic” and that after “about three or four West Coast Coolers” he ran out the door screaming “Go hard or go home Cattáneo!! Go hard or go home!”.
“After that I ran out onto the street to see what was happening, little Hardwell Gamgee, or whatever the fuck his name is, ran straight across the road into a bar full of Argentinian fans,” explained the bartender.
Hardwell, pictured above on one of his many adventures outside of the Shire, is then said to have “slapped Mr. Cattáneo repeatedly with an open hand” for a number of minutes before “pulling his hair and scratching his face” until police arrived on the scene.
“The long haired guy just stood there stoically and took the scratching from Hardwell painlessly, at one point he did appear to become slightly annoyed and used his hand on Hardwell’s head to hold him at arm’s length but Hardwell kept trying to swing and claw at him,” added the bartender. “Eventually, he gave up, appeared to wet himself and fell to the ground crying as the police arrived.”
“Once the police came everything was under wraps quickly. He was arrested and taken away in the back of a police car, he was quite lucky to get away with just an arresting if you ask me,” revealed the streetwise bartender. “Usually when guys like him come into the bar and start getting drunk like he did, they end up getting robbed by transsexual prostitutes so he got off quite lightly,” he added.
Hernán Cattáneo has yet to comment on the incident, although, witnesses have reported that, after spending approximately one hour fixing his pristine hair, he could be seen laughing and drinking with friends for the remainder of the evening.
