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February 24, 2015
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Flat Eric Splits Up With Mr. Oizo Claiming He “Was Tired Of Having A Hand Up His Arse”

Puppet and music producer Flat Eric has announced that he has split with his long time music production partner, Mr. Oizo, because he’s sick of having the Frenchman’s hand up his arse.

Flat Eric, real name Eric Petit, claims that constantly having the accomplished movie director and music producer’s hand up his arse is holding him back from becoming an established and respected solo artist.

Wunderground spoke to Eric about his decision earlier, “It’s hard enough to be taken seriously as an artist when you’re a two foot tall yellow puppet and having an extremely talented guy’s hand up your ass certainly doesn’t help the cause.”

“It’s also quite uncomfortable, I’m only small and he’s quite big so it would be like you trying to go about your day with a traffic cone in your butt,” continued Eric squeakily. “Everyday things like going for a walk, sitting down for a coffee or not shitting yourself can be a real pain in the ass when you’ve had your bum hole stretched to six times it’s normal size by a giants hand and forearm.”

“We haven’t been getting on great lately either,” revealed Eric. “He came home drunk a couple of weeks ago and used me for a wank, it took me weeks to clean his mess out of my fur and our relationship has been pretty awkward ever since. It’s definitely time for us both to move on.”

Mr. Oizo has so far failed to comment on the split although he is believed to be extremely upset after he was seen wandering around Paris, teary eyed, with a yellow sock on his hand.

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