An apparently 2-year-old wonder DJ from Florida is actually just Pauly D in a tiny child’s vest, it has emerged.
Videos of a supposed child prodigy DJ performing in a shed and distributed online by the boy’s father have proven to be false after it was discovered that the child was Pauly D.
“I don’t know how we didn’t notice it sooner,” claimed one journalist who ran the story for a popular music site. “Just look at the size of his arms and his leather sun damaged skin, no 2 year old child, or 30 year old man, looks like they’ve spent the last 15 years on a tanning bed, rubbing babyoil into their torso and cooing.”
“I think I was thrown off by the disparity between the child-like facial expressions of Pauly D and his ability to master a simple mix,” he continued. “I kept thinking surely this is a small child doing something amazing and not a large man doing something standard.”
“His skills were subpar but when you think it’s a child doing it you forgive it a little bit,” he added.
“I’m just a bit disappointed, like a man who has brought home an especially attractive pre-op transsexual woman thinking it was a post-op transsexual woman, I still enjoyed the experience but encountered a larger penis than I was expecting and felt slightly misled.”
“In future if I spot anyone with what I suspect to be a costumed troll doll hair playing decks I won’t jump to the natural conclusion that it’s a child dressed as Ash from Pokemon,” he conclued. “I’ll just assume it’s a desperate, down on his luck man trying to entertain some children by playing sugary EDM, or it’s Pauly D.”
“Which is essentially the same thing.”
