That barefooted guy in the luminous pants, bandana and face paint doing an interpretive dance in the middle of the festival isn’t in some kind of pseudo-religious drugged trance but is actually just dancing so that you’ll film him, it has emerged.
The guy, whose been doing that since Thursday, might look like he’s some kind of astral-smoking blissed out hippy who enjoys doing interpretive dances in public places but is actually just a feckless attention seeker like everyone else.
Witnesses who were compelled to film the unnamed dancer after indulging in some gentle sniggering claim that regardless of the type of music he’s been there all day, doing the same poxy prancing.
“I was here earlier for Seth Troxler and he was performing Swan Lake while everyone around him was bumping fists and ket,” claimed one witness. “I came back later and he was still doing Swan Lake to a backdrop of Bobby Womack.”
“I don’t think he’s actually into the music, preferring to perform elaborate hand gestures with a glazed look in his eyes,” “If the music was stopped, he’d probably still be there dancing so long as people were willing to gawp at him.”
“He’s one of those angsty perma-teenagers who because he was mildly bullied feels the need to act out in weird ways for attention,” claimed another witness who says he made the mistake of talking to him. “He told me his name was Jared and began unprompted to list all the drugs he’d ever taken.”
“I offered him a bump but he said he didn’t want it to interact with the mushrooms he said he was on before running off to dance next to some film crew and shouting ‘check me out on Youtube,'” he added. “I probably won’t though.”
