In bad news for cliches and urban myths, Lithuanian music producer Ten Walls has proven beyond all reasonable doubt that not all publicity is good publicity.
Ten Walls, real name Marijus Adomaitis, has been at the centre of a public relations shit storm this week after the producer went on a homophobic rant on his Facebook page.
Contrary to popular belief, the public’s gaze has not been beneficial for the Lithuanian, who seen his stock plummet from being one of the scenes most revered producers to someone who established brands are distancing themselves from almost over night.
“Ten Walls is going down like a wet fart in a broken down elevator at the moment,” claimed PR guru Brian Harold earlier. “He’s managed to drag his name so far through the mud this week that there is actually no trace of his name left, all there is now is a big lump of muddy shit and nobody likes mud, not even people at festivals. This has to have been one of the worst weeks for a public figure since John Lennon was shot, actually I think getting shot would have been better for Ten Walls, at least that way he’d be remembered well.”
“There isn’t many ways that this could have worked out any worse for Mario,” continued Harold. “Maybe it would have been worse if he had murdered or raped someone but at least that way he would have been entitled to a fair trial where an unfair verdict probably would have got him off once he payed his legal team enough but in this scenario he’s been his own judge, jury and executioner and given his career a death by public execution sentence.”
“There is literally no amount of apologies, back peddling or grovelling that can save Ten Walls now,” admitted the PR expert. “The only way he could come out of this with even a hint of positivity would be if he was declared clinically insane and spent the rest of his life in a mental institution.”
According to sources close to Ten Walls, he is believed to be devastated by his own stupidity and is willing to publicly have sex with another man to save his quickly diminishing career.
