Miley Cyrus has announced that she is about to send her “lady flaps” into space in an attempt to raise her intergalactic profile.
The former Hannah Montana star claimed that Earth isn’t ready for her “giblets” and has vowed to send them where “no minge has ever gone before”.
Cyrus is believed to have paid $250,000 dollars to book her beef curtains onto Virgin Galactic’s first flight, where she will be joined a range of other celebrities including Paris Hilton, Steven Hawking and Leonardo DiCaprio.
“I’m not too impressed with the idea of going to Space with Miley Cyrus’s bits to be honest with you,” claimed DiCaprio in a chat with Wunderground earlier today. “I don’t really have any issue with the lady flaps, as long as they’re clean, but I’m a bit worried about the Miley Cyrus they’ve got attached to them. I really hope she’s not in the seat next to me.”
Fellow passenger Steven Hawking also gave us his opinion on Cyrus’s decision to send her lady parts into Space, “I’ve devoted a large part of my life to studying super massive black holes. I was actually going on the flight to have a break from staring into vast expanses of space so the last thing I want to see when I’m in space is that little twerps cavernous fanny.”
Meanwhile fellow moron Paris Hilton claims she is “super excited” at the prospect of traveling with Cyrus’s lady flaps. “I love Miley, she’s so hot and her lady flaps are so in right now. Every one on earth has already seen them so I think it’s about time she took them somewhere else. It proves how good of an artist she is. I was thinking of sending my left tit to the bottom of the ocean to prove to people that I am a real DJ but what Miley’s doing is so much braver than that. It’s literally out of this world.”
According to experts, Cyrus’s inclusion on the Virgin Galactic flight will make it the most anatomically correct flight of all time, with her lady flaps, Justin Bieber being an ass hole and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie being a massive pair of tits.
