An English magician has pulled off of his most daring illusions to date by transforming into an absolute bastard after just one line of coke.
Hugh Deeny startled onlookers at a recent house party having made the transformation from “nice, charismatic guy” to “cocky, pretentious bastard” right before their eyes.
“He’s really good that Hugh Deeny fella,” claimed eyewitness Steph Walker. “He started off just having a drink and doing a couple of card tricks, they were good but I’ve seen them all before but he seemed like a nice bloke so everyone was watching and enjoying themselves.”
“The trick where he turned into a cunt was the most shocking trick I’ve ever seen,” continued Steph. “One minute he was just standing there like a normal bloke, then, with one wave of his magic £5 note around his face, he transformed into a complete bastard. I’ve not seen a trick like that before. David Blaine eat your heart out.”
According to another witness, Michael, who gave the magician the line of coke, he’s never seen anyone transform from one extreme to another so quickly before.
“It were a bit like watching The Incredible Hulk,” revealed Michael. “Only it wasn’t Bruce Banner turning into a green one man wrecking machine because someone made him angry, it was a fairly average magician called Hugh Deeny turning into an obnoxious git because I gave him a line of coke.”
“I only gave it to him because he said he’d swap it for a bit of magic,” continued Michael. “But I was expecting him to give me a bit of MDMA not pull 50p out of my blooming ear. If I had of wanted to see rubbish magic like that I would have paid attention to my son after I bought him a cheap magic set for his birthday, but I wasn’t interested then, so I told him to go show his mam while I watched the footy, and I’m not interested now.”
Unconfirmed reports suggest that soon after Mr. Deeny took the line of coke the house owner performed the most popular magic trick of the night by making the magician disappear out the front door without his bottle of vodka.
