Lithuania’s biggest export since nitrogenous fertilizers, Ten Walls, has revealed that he hates having no income “way more” than he hates ”the gays”.
Ten Walls, a.k.a. Mario Basanov, has found himself on the outer edges of the electronic music industry, since a homophobic social media meltdown this summer, and has struggled to find paying work outside of Siberia’s far-right skinhead breakcore scene.
In a bid to reverse the damage caused to his career by his pathetic ramblings, Ten Walls recently released a new song, which is available free of charge, through the Lithuanian LGBT rights organisation, LGL’s, website.
“It’s funny really, earlier in the year, when I was enjoying the most successful period of my career to date, something which has taken years of hard work to achieve, I really thought I hated the gays,” explained Ten Walls earlier. “But now that I haven’t played a decent gig in almost six months and my bank balance is dwindling I’ve noticed that I don’t really hate the gays at all.”
“There’s nothing like a summer of cancelled gigs, lost contracts and financial worry to help put things into perspective,” continued the remorseful producer. “All of those things are much worse than the gays. In fact, when compared to no income at all the gays are actually alright.”
“I’m not saying I want to join a knitting group or take up baking or anything like that but when you get down to the nitty gritty of it they’re just people like the rest of us,” admitted Mr. Basanov. “I really can’t believe I was so stupid, the gays, and money, are very important to me now.”
According to reports, Ten Walls is willing to further endear himself with Lithuania’s LGBT community by recording a Village People’s themed video to his latest track, titled Shining, in which he will play the soldier, the cop, the Native American and the builder but not the biker because he “fucking hates bikers, they’re the scum of the Earth”.
