Earlier today, a group of EDM fans in Austin, Texas, mistook an armed robbery, in a convenience store, for a rave after the gun wielding thief told them to “put their hands in the air”.
According to witnesses, the group of friends started “dancing, fist bumping and whooping” moments after the thief had shouted “this is a robbery put your hands in the air”.
“It was scary as hell, everyone in the store, except for this group of about five douche bags who were standing by the counter, was terrified,” explained cashier Jenna Davis. “We don’t got no heroes around here so as soon as that guy pointed a gun at me and told me to put the money into his bag, I went right ahead and put it in there.”
“But these young dudes were acting really stupidly,” continued the store clerk. “The guy was shouting at them to put their hands up and keep quiet but they started jumping around the shop, high fiving each other and making all sorts of noise, the robber looked totally shocked, as soon as he got the money he ran straight out the door, he didn’t even bother stealing any cigarettes or liquor so I helped myself to some after he left.”
According to EDM bro Andy James, the whole robbery was a “total letdown” after the “DJ’s set failed to go anywhere”.
“I’m not even sure who the DJ was,” claimed James, while rummaging in his man bag for a glow stick. “I remember he was wearing a mask but there’s so many DJs wearing masks nowadays that I can’t tell one from the other.”
“His mixing wasn’t great but he did have these cool intervals advertising local businesses in between tracks, it’s good to see a DJ supporting the local community,” continued Mr. James, who seemed to be describing the radio station which had been playing on the store’s PA system during the robbery. “The set just didn’t really go anywhere, he told us to put our hands in the air but he left us hanging, there was no drop and then all of a sudden his set was over.”
“Me and my boys were left really confused, we didn’t know if we should keep our hands in the air or put them down,” explained the stupid young man. “In the end we finally took them down after about an hour of waiting. That DJ sucked!”
According to sources within the Austin Police Department, the suspect, described by the EDM fans as average and forgettable, is still at large and presumed armed and dangerous.”
