Hip hop mogul Jay Z has confirmed that he now considers Diplo, who he described as a “bitch”, working with his wife, Beyonce, as his one hundredth problem.
The Roc-A-Fella Records co-founder famously claimed to have “99 problems but a bitch ain’t one” in 2003 but now seems to have reappraised his situation after it was revealed that Diplo produced two songs on Beyonce’s new album, Lemonade.
“I don’t got no time for this shit,” vented Jay Z earlier today. “I’m running a multi-million dollar hip hop empire. Don’t I got enough shit to be dealing with already without hearing that some little EDM twerp has been hanging around my wife like Lindsay Lohan on a crack rock?”
“The last mutherfuckin’ thing I need is another mutherfuckin’ problem,” revealed the rapper. “And you know what Diplo, you little punk ass bitch? If I got a problem you got a problem. The bad thing for you is that your problem is gonna be my size twelve shoes all up in your ass! You better be watching your back chump.”
According to sources close to Diplo, the EDM producer claims he is “not worried by Jay Z’s idol threats”, although he is rumoured to have barricaded himself in the high security panic room of his New Jersey mansion and hired round-the-clock security, in the form of large men in dinosaur suits, to protect his home until his latest beef blows over.
idle threats***