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May 6, 2016
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Man Looking Forward To Leaving Room Every Time Someone Plays New Radiohead Track At Party

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An English dance music fan has recently spoken about the exciting prospect of leaving the room every time someone plays the new Radiohead track at parties.

Mark Chambers, claims to have had a decade long battle against Radiohead tracks at parties, claiming that certain friends were “hell bent on ruining his buzz” by playing the “whingy brand of hippy shit” while at parties.

“I just don’t get Radiohead,” revealed Chambers earlier today. “They’re so depressing, if I wanted to be depressed I’d think about what direction my life is going in or watch old episodes of Children’s Hospital on BBC iPlayer, not listen to some little posh twat with a lazy eye singing about mundane bullshit.”

“For years I’ve been room hopping at parties because some of my mates just can’t help but listen to Radiohead,” continued Chambers, who likened listening to the Oxfordshire formed band to the noise of one thousand babies crying. “At first I thought they were doing it deliberately to fuck with my vibes but after a while I realised that wasn’t the case at all, they’re just weird and actually like Radiohead.”

“Recently I haven’t had to put up with half as much Radiohead as in previous years,” explained Chambers. “Their lack of new material meant they were slowly fading away like a particularly bad fart and no matter how much Radiohead fans want Thom Yorke’s Boiler Room set to be good it’s inexplicably shit and never gets played so my life has been relatively Radiohead free and I’ve been loving it.”

“But then, just when you think you’re catching a break, Captain Depresso and the Glum Bunch come flying out of the blocks with a new track. I really can’t wait to leave the room in protest every time one of my mates plays it a party.”

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