A man who is due to arrive, on a five day holiday, in Ibiza early next week is planning on taking “all the cocaine” on the island after buying a cheap travel insurance package in his local travel agent.
William ‘Billy’ McCarthy, a thirty one year old carpenter from Manchester, England, is adamant that he will snort “every last grain of coke” the island has to offer after taking out a large Credit Union loan in preparation for his holiday.
“I can not wait to get proper fucking on it in Ibiza,” shouted Billy earlier today. “I’ve got two weeks off work so I know I can go as fucking mental as I want and still have plenty of time to recover when I get home. I’m going full fucking retard from the moment I step foot off that plane.”
“I’ve taken a three grand loan out of the Credit Union so money is no object,” continued the excitable Mancunian. “It works out as about six hundred euros a day, I reckon I can eat and drink well for around one hundred and fifty a day which leaves me with over four hundred to get totally off my fucking box every day.”
“I’ve also got this travel insurance so it doesn’t even matter if I have a heart attack or a stoke or even die, I’ll still be covered,” explained the carpenter. “I’m going to take all the coke on the island, just you wait and see, and when I get through that I’m going to make a start on the pills and ket too, this is going to be the greatest holiday ever.”
“Beeeeeeeefffffaaaaaa!”
Sources in Ibiza indicate that drug gangs all over the island are working overtime to ensure that there is a sufficient supply of cocaine to meet Mr. McCarthy’s opulent needs.
