A sweaty guy at a rave has just been crowned Ms Wet T-Shirt UK, despite having never entered the competition.
Ian Reynolds, a twenty six year old barman from Rhyl, Wales, took the much coveted first prize in the competition after a talent scout spotted his “wringing wet t-shirt” after a prolonged eight hour dancing session.
Ms Wet T-Shirt UK judge and local celebrity Les Dennis spoke to Wunderground, “I’ve been involved with the Ms Wet T-Shirt UK competition and tour for about fifteen years now and it’s safe to say that this is definitely the first time it’s been won by a man, it’s also the first time that the eventual winner hasn’t had one, or more, of the judge’s cocks in their mouth at some stage of the competition but every so often a t-shirt comes along that is so wet that you just have to stand up and take notice.”
“Wet T-shirt purists will be looking at this year’s winner and thinking ‘this is bollox’ or ‘where are the tits?’ but this is next-gen competitive wet t-shirting and if you can’t see that then you really need to either get with the program or move on,” continued Dennis, best known for preparing Neil Morrissey’s “sloppy seconds”. “I’m a big fan and I think Mr Reynolds makes an excellent Ms Wet T-Shirt UK.”
Feminists all over the UK are believed to be rallying behind Mr Reynolds, claiming the young man’s triumph in the competition is the best thing to happen to gender equality since Margaret Thatcher was elected Prime Minister in 1979.
“What a day for feminism,” claimed Gemima Dufflebum. “It’s about time the world stopped sexualising and objectifying the female breast and what better way to do that than to crown a flat chested male Ms Wet T-Shirt UK. Hopefully, this will be the end of this type of archaic competition.”
So far, Mr Reynolds has yet to comment on his victory as he is believed to have his “hand full” mingling with the other Ms Wet T-Shirt UK contestants in the backstage area.
