Rehab has been named the second most popular holiday destination after Ibiza for people aged between eighteen and sixty five.
The statistic proves that abusing drugs and alcohol remains a more popular choice than giving up drugs or alcohol, with many people who have been to rehab admitting to have visited Ibiza on more than one occasion.
Alan Parker, who recently finished a stint in rehab, spoke to Wunderground, “I’ve been going to Ibiza for years mate. I think this was the first year since 2004 that I haven’t been. I decided to book myself in for a bit of rehab instead this year.”
“It was alright, the food was OK, the weather wasn’t too bad, the staff were pretty friendly I suppose but the nightlife was shit,” continued Mr Parker. “Nothing like Ibiza, I had an MP3 player with a few decent sets on them but listening to them while reflecting on all the hardship you’ve put your loved ones through just isn’t the same as raving on the terrace in Amnesia or listening to Coxy belt it out in Space.”
“All I could think about while I was in there was banging pills, getting ketted of my nut and whizzing around San An charlied up to my eyeballs,” claimed Parker, who claims to have beaten drug and alcohol dependence. “I couldn’t even get a poxy cup of coffee in rehab but I stayed strong and got through it. Although, I will admit, my life’s been pretty boring ever since.”
“Come to think of it I don’t even really have a life anymore, I used to be out partying all weekend now all I do is work and sit in my gaff. Where’s the fun in that?” he asked. “Do you know what? All this talk of Ibiza has got me proper in the mood for a holiday. I’ve saved up a few quid by not partying the last couple of months so I think I’ll book myself a flight and get over for the closing parties. Fuck it. What’s the worst that can happen?”
