The latest online statistics have revealed that DJing is now the most listed profession on the business-oriented social networking service LinkedIn.
According to LinkedIn analysts, approximately eighty percent of the sites members list DJing as their main profession or one of their main skills.
George Macintosh, a spokesperson for LinkedIn, spoke to Wunderground earlier, “Oh yeah every cunt and his mother have themselves listed as DJs these days,” explained George. “And I mean that literally, I know at least five absolute cunt DJs who are signed up to LinkedIn and all of their mothers also have themselves registered as DJs.”
“With the amount of DJs popping up out of the woodwork these days I’m really surprised that all of the other industries in the world aren’t failing,” continued Macintosh. “Since LinkedIn started in 20o3 we’ve seen a five million percent increase in DJs while practically every other profession has taken a bit of a hit.”
“Obviously not every person who claims to be a DJ is experiencing success in the music industry,” confirmed Macintosh. “So we’re updating our DJ section and as of next year we will also have ‘wannabe DJ’ and ‘failed DJ’ as options. This should decrease the number of people who claim to be DJs by at least ninety five percent.”
Alan Knight, aka DJ Al Knight Long, claims that he has no intention of changing his LinkedIn profile despite having never made a single penny from DJing.
“I’m a DJ mate, that’s what I do,” claimed Al earlier. “Sure, I might work in McDonald’s three or four days a week and deliver Chinese takeaways at the weekends but nobody wants to hear about that on LinkedIn. I’m never going to admit to being a failed DJ. Fuck that. Unless I’ve to sell my decks to pay the rent or something, which I’ve nearly had to do on more than one occasion.”
Other professions that have experienced massive growth since LinkedIn launched include; club promoters, barbers, tattoo artists, craft beer brewers and food bloggers.
