A local drug dealer has been overheard telling a customer that the pills he is selling are the “strongest he’s ever had”, despite the fact he hasn’t touched one in over five years.
Twenty seven year old Richie Jones, from Swansea, Wales, is said to have convinced his buyer that the pill is so strong it needs to be “taken in halves” and that it will definitely “blow your head off in a good way”.
“I’ve got to big up my product, ain’t I?” Richie told us. “I’m a businessman. Virtually all pills are the same, all coke is the same, all MD is the same and all ket is the same but you can’t be heard saying that. I’m an entrepreneur and sometimes I’ve got to go into full sales mode. I need to know my product, and the competition, back to front and inside out. Telling my punters it’s the strongest pill ever is fine, as they’ll never prove otherwise. I’m hardly going to get pulled up for telling lies about drugs am I? Everything from top to bottom of buying drugs is illegal so I think telling a porkie pie or two might be OK.”
“Marketing and selling my products to a specific demographic which desires them is what it’s all about,” continued Richie. “Gillette claims to do the best razors, Stella reckons their beer is the bollox and Nike always go on about their trainers being the nuts so it’s only natural I try to sell my product in the same way.”
Wunderground spoke with Sarah Roberts, who has recently bought both pills and coke from Richie, to find out her thoughts on his sales patter and product knowledge, “He knows his stuff,” she told us. “I don’t think he’s ever had a bad batch, they are always a step up from the ones before. Obviously I ain’t no drug expert, usually I’m all over the shop after one line of beak or a nibble of a pill, but I’m telling you, he’s definitely the man to go to if you want narcotics. He knows where they’ve come from and the effects they’ll have, I don’t know any other dealers who knows those details.”
