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July 3, 2013
1 min read

Whistleblower Edward Snowden Admits To Being Dubstep Legend Burial

US whistleblower Edward Snowden has admitted that he is in fact elusive dubstep legend, Burial.

In a statement released by the Guardian newspaper, Snowden described how he could no longer suffer the moral hypocrisy of keeping this massive secret whilst lambasting US security forces for their own clandestine activities.

‘In the spirit of full disclosure and transparency which I have been urging the US government to embrace I would like to state that I, Edward Snowden, am and have always been, Burial. I’ve always wanted to let the music speak for itself as anonymously as I could but that’s impossible now.’

‘The US government has never been anything but implacably opposed to the dubstep movement so I had no choice but to keep my beat making a secret. In the light of Skream’s recent admission that dubstep is dead and with the spotlight that has been shined on my past recently by the media I felt it was the right time to come forward and admit to being Burial.’

In a further twist, U.S. Secretary of State, John Kerry, has claimed that the U.S. government ‘always knew’ that Snowden was Burial. When pressed by journalists Kerry became exasperated and refused to divulge his sources. ‘No, I can’t say how I knew but what I will say is that I kept his secret. Which is more than he did for the U.S. government.’

‘How can you trust a man who blows his own whistle,’ Kerry queried.

Snowden has claimed that he has no further plans to make dubstep as Burial but has admitted an interest in Ecuadorian folk music. What do you think on this new revelation? Comments below…

Stu

Stu

65 Comments Leave a Reply

  11. … Burial is William Bevan, South London. I mean, he was indeed anonymous until like 2008 or 2009, but now his identity is common knowledge… What is this article is pure journalistic trash.

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    I feel technology just can make it even worse. Now there’s a channel to in no way care, now there will not likely become a probability for them to find out.

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