Man Who Has Been Constantly Talking About Burning Man Finally Loses Voice

A young festival fan, who has spent the last four weeks talking constantly about how amazing his experience of Burning Man festival was, has finally lost his voice.

U.K. native, Alan Thimble, had attended the festival for the first time last month and since he arrived home has talked incessantly about nothing else.

Doctors are worried that Mr. Thimble may have done permanent damage to his voice box as a result of his inability to stop talking about Burning Man. “When he was admitted he was in a very bad way,” according to attending physician Dr. Michael Harley. “His lips were chapped, his voice was almost imperceptibly low yet hoarse and his jaw had began making a soft clicking sound through overuse.”

Friends of Mr. Thimble are said to be “delighted that he’s finally shut up about fucking Burning Man,” claims co-worker and friend Brendan McNamara. “Every day for the last month all I’ve heard has been ‘Burning man this’ or ‘Burning man that’,” moaned Brendan. “That was all day, of every day. I’m quite a healthy person psychologically but I’m not lying when I tell you that I went close to madness. It even got to the stage where I had to grab him by the collar and tell him ‘If you keep talking about Burning Man then I’ll fucking burn you. Man.'”

“Physical threats didn’t stop him though. He’d just continue on enthusing about how his life is changed for ever and how he was going to renounce capitalism and become a self-sufficient vegan farmer,” claimed Brendan. “When I tried to speak about topics other than Burning Man or things happening in my life he’d just stare listlessly at my mouth until it stopped moving. Not being able to get through to him has been painful to deal with at times. Especially when he didn’t even blink when I told him about my father’s cancer diagnosis,” wept an openly upset Brendan.

Brendan further claimed that irrespective of the topic of a conversation Alan would always find some way to bring the conversation back around to Burning Man. “It was quite impressive actually,” said Brendan. “I’d say something like ‘Don’t you think the neck-tie is a bit anachronistic and unnecessary for closing a shirt collar since the advent of buttons?’ and he’d reply by saying something like ‘It took me five days to get the sand out from between my toes after Burning Man.'”

Brendan has explained that he believes Alan still has a long way to go before he gets over Burning Man and that having no voice hasn’t prevented Alan from annoying people with tales of the festival, “It hasn’t slowed him down. He’s still on Facebook or Twitter telling anyone who’ll listen about Burning Man. If I see him in person then he’s jotting things down into a little notepad and holding it up for me to read,” claimed Brendan. “I think it’s probably only a matter of time before his fingers break from spending every waking moment typing or writing notes. I don’t think he’ll ever stop while he is able to find some way of communicating.”