Controversial new legislation is set to come into effect in Germany that will see nightclubs, which have already received accusations of racism, extend their much maligned door policies to include “ugly people.”
The move, which is sure to anger punters who were already bitterly disappointed by Berghain’s handshake policy, is part of a raft of measures that are designed to “improve the nightclub experience for the young and beautiful elite.”
“The most important thing for my nightclub is for it to be exclusive and attractive,” claimed nightclub owner Walter Kopp. “People walk into the club and they want to see beautiful sexy people. Not people with saddle shaped heads and bad skin. Or people in wheelchairs whose legs don’t even work and are therefore not sexy.”
Bouncers on the door will decide entry for each person on two criteria, the first being whether or not the bouncer finds the person sexually attractive or “fuckable.” In instances when the bouncer does not find the person sexually attractive they will be able to consult a pre-prepared set of criteria on the basis of which they can refuse entry to the club. For men they will be on the lookout for acne, unstyled hair, crooked teeth and for women they will be refusing anyone with blotchy skin, bad hair and small breasts.
“We think with those limitations that we’ll be able to keep a large percentage of the unattractive cretins out of the clubs and on the streets, where they belong,” continued Mr. Kopp.
As a further extension to the policy the friends of ugly people who are refused entry will also be turned away to “encourage those people who are attractive but unfortunately have ugly friends to leave those friends at home when they next come to the club.”
Good looking guys are said to be delighted with the news with one claiming, “it’s a brilliant idea. Hopefully they extend it to all public places. Ugly people should stay at home or get plastic surgery or something.”
If you are black, this is actually a pretty common thing in Germany lol