Guy On Guestlist Dies Of Suspected ‘Smug Overdose’

A young clubber has tragically lost his life after “overdosing on his own smugness” which medical experts believe to have arisen due to the man’s presence on a nightclub’s guest list.

Nineteen year old student, Lee Hamilton, was said to have been entering the club with friends when he suddenly collapsed while he was speaking to the doorstaff.

“Well I could tell something was wrong by the way he was moving,” explained Lee’s friend Jessica. “He was elaborately strutting past all the people queuing up in the cold and had a sort of disdainful grin on his face which seemed to suggest ‘look at me you fucking plebs, I’m on the list, I’m better than you.'”

“When he uttered the words ‘I’m on the list’ to the doorman, I could see from the glint in his eye that the privileged position he perceived himself to have over people was too much for him to cope with and he was either going to start behaving like an entitled cocky idiot, or die right there in front of us,” wept Jessica.

Jessica claimed that Lee was excited from early in the day about being on the guest list for the club. “His pupils were dilated and he had a kind of manic energy,” she explained, “we tried to say ‘look you’re on the guest list, it’s not a big deal’ but he obviously let it go to his head and there was nothing anyone could do to stop him.”

Medical staff at the nearby hospital where Lee was admitted said that the student was already too far gone by the time the ambulance was able to bring him to hospital and that “with the level of smugness we were contending with, there was really nothing we could do.”

Doctors have said that the smugness that Lee was feeling resulted in an aneurysm in his brain as a corollary to his “massively swelled head.”

According to friends and family Lee was an exemplary student and sportsman who never “experimented with smugness” before the night when he tragically lost his life as a result of smug. “Well Lee is the last person who you’d suspect to mess around with smugness,” continued Jessica. “In all the time I’ve known him I’ve never seen him do smug, but it just goes to show you never really know a person.”

Calvin Harris, himself a smug addict who has struggled with smugness his entire career, took to Twitter to eloquently express his condolences regarding Lee’s tragic death. “RIP, Lee Hamilton. Be careful with smug guys, it’s dangerous stuff. I can handle it because I’m fucking amazing in every way conceivable but you guys are not.”

Medical experts have issued a warning to anyone who feels that they or someone close to them might be experimenting with smug. “If anyone out there is feeling smug be sure to take the necessary precautions such as, ensuring that you have a friend nearby who can administer the required ‘cutting down to size,’ and to avoid situations that might trigger a reaction such as being given preferential treatment, laughing at others, DJing or being upper class.”