Darius Vs BPM Festival: Both Versions Of Events Cast Into Doubt As New Evidence Emerges

Darius Syrossian’s recent claims that he was attacked by BPM security staff have been cast into doubt after a major hole in the British DJ’s story was highlighted yesterday by a family friend.

Syrossian claims to have been the victim of an assault which allegedly happened after an altercation which started over issues with the DJ’s guest list. After confronting the girl in charge of the guest list and asking why his guests were being asked to pay into the event, he claims to have been followed to the DJ box and assaulted by the burly security staff.

BPM have responded to Syrossian’s claims by saying that there was no physical harm caused to the DJ and that he was in fact the aggressor and also made the guest list girl cry. Syrossian was quick to counter BPM’s response by stating, “I SWEAR ON MY MUMS LIFE, NO GUESTLIST GIRLS CRIED!” on his Facebook page.

However, family friend Martin Spencer has thrown all of Syrossian’s claims into doubt by revealing that the DJ was actually raised by two gay fathers, “I really don’t know why Darius would swear on his mother’s life. I mean he definitely has a biological mother but everyone in Leeds knows that he was raised by two blokes. It just doesn’t make any sense.”

“I really don’t know what to believe any more,” claimed a confused Mr. Spencer. “Don’t get me wrong Darius is a really nice guy but after this I just don’t know if I can trust anything he says. Like is his name really even Darius? I’ve always thought he looked more like a Michael or a Patrick. I hate to think how this is making his dads, Bill and Ted, feel. It seems to me like they’re the real victims here,” he added.

Events took another strange twist this morning after an anonymous member of BPM’s security staff, and part time Lucha libre wrestler, spoke about the events, “I’m not sure if the DJ is familiar with Mexican culture or not but over here it is customary to pay protection money to security staff.”

“It’s just like tipping, for approximately forty percent of his appearance fee the security staff would have insured that he wasn’t assaulted in any way by refraining from assaulting him in any way,” claimed the masked security guard. “If you don’t pay then we can’t guarantee your safety from our fat fists, it’s as simple as that,” he continued while aggressively flexing his muscles. “I’m not saying that he was assaulted, but if he was then it was probably his own fault for not paying us to not hit him.”

“Extortion is such a strong, ugly word,” he continued. “It’s not like that at all. Basically all it is, is that if the performers don’t pay us a fee for protection then we beat them up.”

“It’s not quite an illegal protection ring,” he added. “More of an illegal protection family.”