Graham

In a desperate attempt to appeal to somebody else’s audience, Mike Posner has vowed to take heroin in London to show Pete Doherty that he is cool. Posner’s previous attempt at looking

Kanye West has vowed to give his wife, Kim Kardashian, a brand new pearl necklace after she was robbed at gunpoint earlier this week. Kardashian, a walking advertisement for opulence, lost over

Drum machine manufacturers Roland have claimed that they are redefining the future of sound by re-releasing a “load of old drum stuff”. According to Roland Spokesperson Keegan Allen, the reissue of a

The world of Facebook has been left in total shock and wonderment after a girl closed her account without making an announcement about it beforehand. Twenty five year old Jane Smith is

A local promoter is refusing to admit that clubbing happened in his hometown before he became involved in the scene. Paul Norris, Sunderland’s self titled “King of Trance”, claims there was “absolutely

Rolf Harris’s 1969 chart topping release Two Little Boys has been voted as the most inappropriate song of all time at this week’s Meaningless Music Awards. Convicted paedophile Harris’s track beat of

An electronic music ghost producer has claimed that “you can’t teach talent but you can buy it” while pitching an album to Hannah Wants. The ghost producer, who has asked to remain

An Irish smack head banging up in a public park has fooled nobody with his claims to be a diabetic, it has emerged. According to witnesses, William “Scrote” Murphy could be seen

Club Nightmares, a brand new show from Scotland’s foremost swearer, Gordon Ramsey, is set to have its first episode filmed in Ibiza’s Es Paradis nightclub. Club Nightmares will follow the same format

A French woman has revealed that she is constantly mistaken for German DJ Marcel Detmann. Davina Guetta, a sixty four year old Parisian, claims she is stopped at least three or four