Roland Redefining The Future Of Sound By Rerealeasing A Load Of Old Drum Stuff

Drum machine manufacturers Roland have claimed that they are redefining the future of sound by re-releasing a “load of old drum stuff”.

According to Roland Spokesperson Keegan Allen, the reissue of a number of vintage drum machines and synths is exactly what is needed to breath new life into the industry.

“For me, the sound of drum machines seems to have stagnated a bit between now and the early 90s,” claimed the Roland spokesperson earlier today. “The classic sound of the TB-303 and the TR-909, for me, was the pinnacle sound of electronic beats. Everything since then has just been a bit meh to be honest with you.”

“So, in order to push the boundaries of electronic music production and bring the sound of drum machines into the future we’ve developed brand new versions of the TB-303 and TR-909, the TB-03 and TR-09, that are pretty much exactly the same as the originals,” continued Allen. “We’re thinking so far outside the box that we’ve actually gone all the way around and ended up back in the box again.”

Miles Daniels, a twenty one year old DJ, claims that Roland’s latest pieces of equipment are exactly what is needed in the modern clubbing industry.

“I got myself a TR-09 there a couple of months ago and it’s literally the best thing I’ve ever bought, at least since I got the latest version of Virtual DJ anyway,” explained Mr Daniels. “I haven’t really figured out how to use it yet but I have made some really basic but cool loops that sound awesome when I lay them down over whatever latest Beatport top ten I’ve just bought.”

According to experts, other things that are set to redefine the future of sound include; the direct drive turntable, the compact disk, sliced bread and the wheel.

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