Graham

In breaking news from the British dance music industry, Fabric London have confirmed that the latest edition of their FABRICLIVE mix series, FABRICLIVE 89, has been mixed by Chris Lorenzo Hannah Wants.

A shocking statistic from the Rio Olympics indicates that the Olympic Village in Rio is currently housing more drug addicts than a neighbouring favela. The favela, which has one of the densest

The Hipster High Council of England have announced that they are set to stage a mass protest at a Wunderground event happening in Shoreditch, London, later this month. Senior hipster officials have

A local promoter has suggested that he would be willing to settle for Paul Kalkbrenner’s little brother if he can not manage to book the older sibling. Anthony Darnell, from Birmingham, England,

The forgotten art of beatmatching is set to be considered by the Olympic Council in a bid to have it included in the 2020 games, held in Tokyo, Japan. According to Japan’s

Prehistoric TV presenter Bruce Forsyth has today shocked the nation by claiming that heroin is “a right laugh”. Forsyth, best known for his dancing skills and ability to get old age pensioners

A man who claims to be the son of god has miraculously split five pills between five thousand people. Jay Zeus, a thirty three year old carpenter, is reported to have “saved

A bipolar DJ in America has sent mixed signals to his fans this morning by claiming that he “fucking hates these lovely raves”. Matt Willis, a.k.a. DJ Polar Bear, says he has

A sweaty guy at a rave has just been crowned Ms Wet T-Shirt UK, despite having never entered the competition. Ian Reynolds, a twenty six year old barman from Rhyl, Wales, took

A local party has been declared ruined after a bloke started to crush pills with the intent of snorting them and rekindling a buzz. The party, held in a suburb of north