Graham

Sound engineering has officially been declared the grumpiest profession in the world at this week’s International Jobs Summit in Tokyo, Japan. According to the keynote speaker, Steven Jobless, sound engineers have reached

In exciting news from the music industry, The Tamperer have today revealed that “she looked pretty stupid with a chimney on her”. The Italian dance music group broke their silence on their

English garage-hip hop crossover act, Dizzee Rascal, was lucky to escape injury last night after falling off a busy London roundabout. Dizzee, real name Dylan Mills, was playing on the roundabout with

A DJ from Tampa, Florida, has been arrested on suspicion of murdering his ex-wife after she applied for half of his vinyl collection in their divorce settlement. Peter Hanson, aka DJ Dangerous,

A doctor in Colombia has made the outlandish statement that smuggling coke up your arse actively reduces the risk of bowel cancer. Dr. Federico Montana, who has close links to a prominent

The world’s leading vacuum cleaner manufacturer, Dyson, have announced that their latest model, the RV 5000, is based on the Chilean DJ Ricardo Villalobos’s nasal system. According to Matt Holmes, a spokesperson

A survey carried out by the Internation Coke Testing Federation, or the ICTF, has found that the best way to judge the quality of cocaine is by how quickly it makes you

A man in Surrey, England, who just sniffed a massive line of ketamine is said to be excited and slightly anxious but ultimately enjoying his last few minutes of sanity before the

In bad news for cliches and urban myths, Lithuanian music producer Ten Walls has proven beyond all reasonable doubt that not all publicity is good publicity. Ten Walls, real name Marijus Adomaitis,

In exciting news for the music and homophobe communities, Russian Premier Vladimir Putin has revealed that his new favourite electronic music producer is Ten Walls. The news comes just days after the