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Leader of the U.K. Independence Party has today told his party colleagues to try to appear less racist to constituents by listening to genres of music made by “coloureds”. Some of the

Scottish EDM rich list member Calvin Harris has been rushed to hospital today amid concerns from doctors that his neck is no longer capable of supporting the weight of his head, thought

A report released today has indicated that your current girlfriend totally fancies the arse off the DJ and secretly imagines what it would be like to have sex with him confirming your

Police services around the world have today issued a warning to parents regarding a shipment of LSD that has been packaged and disguised as Panini World Cup stickers. Thousands of the popular

An heroic young DJ has today been lauded across the dance music world after he selflessly stopped himself from petulantly moaning about slight inconveniences he experienced when flying to a gig. DJ/producer

The recent batch of underaged DJ’s like Aiden Jude and DJ Kai have received a rapturous welcome into the music industry from the nation’s paedophiles, who claim the tween DJs are the

Music icon Morrissey today finally rescinded comments that he made which claimed that he knew how Joan of Arc felt admitting that, having never been burned at the stake in any way

A report published today has claimed that alcohol remains the best thing people can consume to fill the emotional void at the core of your being. Alcohol beat out heroin, cigarettes and

A report published today has claimed that sharing bags of cocaine with work colleagues has been officially recognised as the world’s most effective team building exercise. In order to be placed in

According to his friends, family and anyone he has interacted with since completing his university exams last week, 22 year old Francis Brand is making the comment that he’s “too cool for