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British TV chef Heston Blumenthal, famous for his strange recipe concoctions which have included snail porridge and bacon and eggs ice-cream, has today revealed that he is to market Buckfast soup for

A young shirtless bro has today confirmed that “you fucking want this don’t you, bitch” while pointing at himself and leering aggressively. Jason ‘Jas’ Sheppard, a 25 year old fitness instructor and

A startling claim has been made today which suggests that all Mums, including yours, are secretly smackheads. “The popular myth that women sit around drinking wine over ‘brunch’ and watching Loose Women

A young club promoter who runs a small club night in London recently woke up in a cold sweat when he made the damning realisation that he is not actually God. Damon

Baby shit-pants manufacturers, Pampers, have today announced a remarkably useful line of nappies that have been exclusively designed for DJs playing long sets. “It can hold the piss and/or shit for up

It has today emerged that Simon Cowell’s upcoming DJ X Factor format is set to mainly feature some twats judging other twats for the enjoyment of twats. “Much like any of Cowell’s

It has been suggested today that the practice of snorting cocaine from a partner’s breasts to add a druggy-sexual frisson to your sex life is actually quite wasteful. “The erotic vibe created

Google have today confirmed that their next generation augmented reality eyewear, Google Glass, is guaranteed to be used for “some kind of weird sex thing” thanks to everyone being a pervert. “We’re

It has emerged today that Dr. Dre is to be bought by Apple as part of the deal which will see his Beats By Dre company acquired by the tech giant. A

England’s pride and future star DJ, Steven Gerrard, was left in tears for the second time this summer when during a recent DJ set at the England squad’s base in Portugal an