“Phone Theft In Clubs Helps Improve The Vibe On The Dance Floor” Claims Phone-Hating DJ


A miserable DJ who claims mobile phones at raves are “total vibe spoilers”, has confirmed that he believes “phone theft in clubs helps improve the dance floor”.

DJ Moan Ekunt, an aspiring producer on the local circuit in Norwich, can often be found venting his aggressive and self-righteous opinions on social media, believing his complaints about the modern day raver might get him a bit of attention needed to propel his career.

“I know I’m not alone in thinking the modern day raver is a self-obsessed prick who knows nothing about the history of techno,” announced DJ Moan Ekunt. “It’s all selfies and videos these days, there’s no place on the dance floor for phones and I’m glad thieves operate in those areas. The more phones stolen, the less there are ruining the night. Solomun agrees. Scuba agrees. Jeff Mills agrees. John Digweed agrees; hell that bloke doesn’t even allow professional photography at his shows. We are all of the same opinion, which isn’t a surprise because we are all very like minded and similar on so many levels.”

“Those guys own record labels, produce tunes and play the music they love, to millions of people every year,” continued Moan Ekunt. “I’m the same. Of course I don’t own a label; nor do I possess the brain or technology to create a track, but I would definitely give it my best shot. I don’t really play to millions of people either if I’m honest; but my Soundcloud has over ninety followers, and my gig in that SU bar seven years ago when I was at Uni, went right off.”

Wunderground asked DJ Moan Ekunt what his ambitions over the next twelve months might be, “I think the main thing I need to do is actually get somebody to film me playing – that way I will genuinely find out if it’s annoying or not.”

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“Phone Theft In Clubs Helps Improve The Vibe On The Dance Floor” Claims Phone-Hating DJ

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