Sankeys Manchester To Pay DJ Sneak £100K A Night To Stay Away

DJ Sneak is set to finally hit the big time after Sankeys Manchester agreed to pay the foghorn mouthed DJ £100k a night to stay away from their venue.

Sankeys kick off their Autumn/Winter season in Manchester this weekend with club bosses keen to ensure the outspoken DJ doesn’t show up.

“£100K is a lot of money but it’s a small price to pay when it comes to keeping DJ Sneak out of your club,” explained club owner David Vincent. “The last thing you want for an opening party is someone like him to come along and ruin it for everyone by giving out because the water in the bathroom is too wet or the lime in his drink was sliced too thick so we’ve decided to take the hit and pay him the money.”

“You don’t want that sort of negative press being associated with your first party of the season,” continued Mr. Vincent. “So having Sneak and his negative vibes there could literally ruin our reputation, a lot like he’s ruined his own reputation.”

It appears that years worth of bad mouthing fellow DJs, clubs, festivals, cities and entire nations has finally paid off for the Puerto Rican record spinner as he will now earn far more for staying away from a club than his previously legendary musical talents ever could have warranted.

It is not yet clear how often Sankeys will have to pay DJ Sneak to stay away from the club but with a fully packed schedule featuring DJs like Hector Couto, Kevin Saunderson and Leftwing & Kody it seems like he could be in for a very lucrative end to his year.

“It’s about time some of these asshole clubs and promoters gave this house gangster what he deserves,” claimed Sneak earlier while taking a short break from blocking people on Twitter. “I’ve worked hard at creating negative energy and I don’t think I’m being out of line when I say I deserve to be paid well for what I do.”

“Best believe the rest of the dickheads in the industry will fall in line and cough up too, otherwise I’m going to be up in all yo faces for a long time to come. The boss has spoken.”

According to sources, demand for tickets to Sankeys opening party this Saturday has reached an all time high as it is the only place in the entire world where DJ Sneak will 100% definitely not be playing.